Lord, send me someone whom I can love and help and someone who can love and help me.
This prayer, it's what started all this.
Althea, cute petite girl. The one who looks good in white. A bit snobbish but really, she isn't or maybe because she told me, "Natutuwa ako sa'yo, Mark" that I don't see her as one.
Well, yes, she met this guy but let's not jump ahead.
So, Althea has been single for quite some time now, and yes, she's been single far longer than I have. Thank you for reminding me. Anyway, it was around February of this year when she got hold of the prayer. Thinking that there's nothing to lose and everything to gain, Althea included it in her intentions.
Last month, the girl confided something to me (so I really don't know why I'm telling you this). With half a smile, she told me she met someone. I was so happy until she relayed the entire story.
There's this guy, a classmate of hers in graduate school; the same guy who caught her eye a year ago. They weren't particularly close. Not until recently. Not until last summer when things started to develop. He made small talk. He joined her study group. He asked for her number. He invited her for lunch or merienda. He offered to make hatid. He did the whole nine yards of getting to know Althea.
"He's everything I ever wanted," my friend sighed, teary eyed. Althea was obviously falling for the guy.
Three weeks ago, they went out for dinner. It was when he admitted that he was strongly attracted to her. There was a pull that he can't explain and he was dying to tell her that.
"Pero wala daw siyang plano iwanan yung asawa't anak niya," Althea explained, and I sat there looking dumbfounded. I wanted to cry. It's sick how life plays cruel tricks on sweet innocent souls. I know it doesn't discriminate but it can be a bit discerning if it chooses to. Every single good person dreams of finding the one. Althea was no exception. She prayed for him to come. She prayed hard. He came, alright with a "but" attached and "inevitable pain and loss" written all over, in bloody red.
"If you choose to be in a relationship with him, a person who is committed, then you may be preventing yourself from having a relationship with someone you can call your own," I told her. "Maybe you're right that the prayer worked; maybe he is the one, but maybe you’re not meant to be together in this lifetime. You have to let go."
I trust that everything happens for a reason. That, I assured Althea.
Here’s the thing, six months ago, I said the same prayer with an abstract of you in mind. Not long after, summer to be precise, you happened. It took some time for me to realize but it is you. Now, I'm Althea – disoriented, confused, caught up in flurry of fight and flight. In fact, last night her tears were nearly mine until I remember such words – I won't. I need to fight this feeling.
But let me just say this - it's true that every once in a while someone new comes along that scrambles our preconceptions. You came and suddenly, everything has changed. I want to dismiss it as a mere coincidence because it's too good to be true; I no longer care if there's a valid reason behind such magic as long as it's there. For now, allow me these precious delusions. Let me believe that my prayer's really God heard.
16 comments:
oh no! please let her reflect and reconstruct her prayer! :(
and yours kuya will be answered soon! ask that person out! malay mo!?!
i bet malakas din ang prayers nung taong yun ;)
I don't know what to say...
@my-so-called-quest: Yep. I told her to seek clarity, peace and serenity instead. Parang Big Girls Don't Cry lang oh! Haha. :)
@anonymous: But I bet your silence says a lot though. Thanks! :)
gusto ko sanang magalit sa dalawang dahilan:
una, dahil sa malayong lugar na kinaroroonan ng numero unong lalaki sa buhay ko, merong isang Althea. na sya namang dahilan kaya nasasaktan ang pinakamahalagang babae sa buhay ko ngayon.
ikalawa, nakikita ko ang sarili ko kay Althea. at alam kong hindi malayong malagay ako sa kahawig na sitwasyon sa hinaharap. bakit ko alam? minsan ko na rin kasing inusal ang parehong panalangin.
meron ka ikukwento mark. :)
sings "somewhere down the road" to althea
mak, i used to have starbs planner before where i'd write my daily prayers. i remember writing something similar: Lord, i have so much love to give, send me someone i could share it with. toinks. hay...
hmnnnn...this is so "Jekyll & Hyde"...
but this I have to say: there's no harm in waiting... :)
the only rule i live by when it comes to relationships is to never touch those who are already with someone else.
It's unfair to the partner and unfair to the 'mistress.'
Pero naniniwala din ako sa kasabihang: "ang manok na nakatali ay mas madaling hulihin."
I think that the "one who got away" is really the same with the "one who isn't meant to be."
hang in there.
@desole boy: It has been said that we should always be prepared whenever we ask for something. Perhaps, we were expecting that when it happens, things would be a lot less stressful.
@gillboard: Ayan na nga na-post ko na oh! :)
@orally: Sa akin, hindi mo kantahin? :(
@darc diarist: I like your version, actually. :)
There's a lot of people out there with a whole lot of love to give talaga no? Perhaps, in time. :/
I love "starbs". Haha. :P
@neil: Yes, there isn't cos in the end it'll be all worth it. :)
@narnian: We live by the same rule. Ang dami-dami diyang hindi nakatali eh. Hehe. :)
Prolly, "the one who got away" falls under the umbrella of "the one who isn't meant to be". The former deals with timing differences - I fell in love with you, you didn't, I walk away then you realize you're in love with me; the latter though embraces a bigger spectrum of situations. :)
You just gave me something to write about. Haha.
I said "Oh my god" out loud when I got to the asawa at anak part (telenovela? lol).
I think you fully understand what you're getting - or what you've gotten - yourself into. Enjoy the moment for now, but don't forget to prepare even just a little for what happens next.
Prolly, "the one who got away" falls under the umbrella of "the one who isn't meant to be". The former deals with timing differences - I fell in love with you, you didn't, I walk away then you realize you're in love with me; the latter though embraces a bigger spectrum of situations. :)
---
I was thinking what other examples of the generic 'one who isn't meant to be' there are but I can't think of any. I think the distinguishing factor is that with 'one who got away' there is a feeling of regret. But with 'one who isn't meant to be' there is a feeling of peaceful acceptance.
I'm the type who puts himself out there. I think that the more open we are to hurt, the easier it will be for us to find what we're looking for. This is a bad analogy but I'll still say it. Like when learning a bike, you have to actually ride it before you can learn how to do it. And you've got to be open to the fact that at one point, you could fall and hurt yourself. Once you've accepted that, you open up the opportunity to feel the breeze on your face.
I blabbed too much. sorry!
@ex jason: Hahaha. I do have a liking for melodramatics. :P
To be honest, I don't have an idea as to what I'm entering into but I know that I've never been happier. :)
Thanks, Ex Jayson!
@narnian: I agree with your distinguishing factor. Regret. It's the one word that I can't muster up when I replied to your comment. LOL.
"The more open we are to hurt, the easier it will be for us to find what we're looking for." > I couldn't have said it any better.
Your words are always appreciated here, friend!
aww mark. i reread the post and I realised I've found myself in a similar situation before.
naalala ko tuloy yung sabi sa isang retreat na naattendan ko. That God answers our prayers in three ways:
1. Yes
2. No, there's something better for you
3. Not yet, you're not yet ready.
I think the answers to our prayers are our own answers in the end.
either way, hang in there. :)
@narnian: Again, I find myself agreeing with you. I have found myself in situations wherein I realized that I was c) not yet ready, and b) being shorthanded.
But sometimes, you just know that it's a Yes. It's a genuine feeling.
I don't know if I made any sense, but whatever! Hahaha. :)
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