just the lonely talking

Relationships take on meaning only in connection with the things that hold it together.

In life, genuine kinship is rare to come by and hard to forge. More often than not, a person will only meet but a handful of other individuals whom he/she has a strong, natural affinity to.

Striker [07:34:11 PM]: Scarlett!!! HOT!!!
MakMak [07:34:20 PM]: Grabe. Sexy niya no?
Striker [07:34:31 PM]: Lalo na yung office scene.
MakMak [07:34:33 PM]: Actually nakakatuwa yung flirting scenes nila
Striker [07:34:37 PM]: Bago kumatok yung kontrabida. Shet!
MakMak [07:34:47 PM]: Naawa ako kay Jennifer nun.
Striker [07:34:50 PM]: Tumaas presyon ko!
Striker [07:34:56 PM]: Bad trip nga siya eh.
MakMak [07:35:05 PM]: Si Gigi, yung scene sa couch, na-sad ako dun.
Striker [07:35:11 PM]: Hahaha!!!
MakMak [07:35:16 PM]: Yung ni-throw niya yung sarili niya kay Alex.
Striker [07:35:17 PM]: Oo. Una nakakatawa di ba?
Striker [07:35:32 PM]: Baka may chance yun for Oscar Awards. Hehehe.
MakMak [07:35:46 PM]: Basta, best 2009 film I've seen so far
Striker [07:35:57 PM]: Di ba???
MakMak [07:35:59 PM]: Parang ang sarap ma-inlove.
Striker [07:36:00 PM]: Astig no?
MakMak [07:36:18 PM]: I mean it justifies
Striker [07:36:19 PM]: For the
MakMak [07:36:20 PM]: All the stupid things that you'll do
Striker [07:36:21 PM]: Crazy things we do
Striker [07:36:22 PM]: Hahaha. Oo.
MakMak [07:36:23 PM]: Just to find love and keep it.
Striker [07:36:24 PM]: Gigi justified it.
MakMak [07:36:25 PM]: Yup.
MakMak [07:36:26 PM]: Kaya...
Striker [07:36:27 PM]: Gigi is a hero.
MakMak [07:36:28 PM]: Personal hero ko si Gigi.
MakMak [07:36:29 PM]: Wee!
Striker [07:36:30 PM]: OMG!
MakMak [07:36:31 PM]: Our mojo!
MakMak [07:36:32 PM]: Hahaha!
Striker [07:36:33 PM]: We have our mojo
Striker [07:36:35 PM]: Oh shit!
MakMak [07:36:36 PM]: I know, right?
Striker [07:36:38 PM]: There it is again.
Striker [07:36:40 PM]: Hahaha!!!
MakMak [07:36:41 PM]: Hahaha!

These connections make you feel that you are a part of a bigger circle. That you are a part of someone else. That you are never alone. One or a hundred, numbers don't really matter because all it takes is that single reminder that somebody out there knows what you're thinking; somebody out there knows how to finish your sentences; and somebody out there really gets you.

Cherish those somebodies. They're irreplaceable.

so into this

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Justin Long, Jennifer Connelly, Ginnifer Goodwin, Kevin Connolly, Bradley Cooper, Kris Kristofferson
New Line Cinema

He's Just Not That Into You.

They say that all stories have a happy ending. If the ending isn't anywhere near happy, then it's not yet the end. But what is happy? Being single? Bagging a boyfriend? Getting married? Filing for divorce? Raising a dog? Really, in life, everything's about perspective, and perspective is what this movie's about.

He's Just Not That Into You is an honest and realistic portrayal of the complexities of love, or how men, consciously or not, make it more complicated than it already is. The story focuses on the intertwined lives of its cast, and as it pleasantly revolves scenes among the couples it introduces the so-called rules in relationships. Rules like if a guy wants to call you, he will. If he likes to spend time with you, he will go out of his way just to be with you. If he wants to keep you, he will try his very best not to screw up. If he goes out with you, for several times, but remains absolutely silent about your status, run away. Don't walk. Run. He's not that into you. These observations are neither profound, nor new yet the film manages to deliver it effectively and thoughtfully. And then it introduces the concept of the exception, which singly contradicts every "no-exceptions" rule imparted by the film. Because who knows, there's always that slim possibility that the insensitive person you're seeing is really into you. Except that he doesn't clearly know how to express it in ways normal humans do. With this concept, every hopeless romantic can now justify all of their seemingly pathetic actions and decisions. But more than the life lessons and guiding principles, the all-star ensemble and their pretty faultless acting actually make the movie strongly enjoyable and definitely worth watching. The film also gained a fresher look and warmer tone as it set up in Baltimore instead of the usual busy streets of New York.

So it does drudge up a few, okay, a lot of bad memories every two minutes but make no mistake, by the end of the film, you would want to fall in love and do all those stupid shit all over again because this time, you know that you're doing it for all the right reasons. He's Just Not That Into You is that good.

more of me, pt. II

Sabi ni Tere, madali lang ang panuto. Kailangan lang daw mag-tala ng sampung bagay tungkol sa akin pero siyam lang dun ang totoo. Ibig sabihin, yung isa malamang hindi. Pero tulad na rin ni Tere, hindi ako marunong magsinungaling, kaya hindi ako magaling gumawa ng fiction, masyado. Pero susubukan ko pa rin.

01. Ako ay suplado, masungit, maarte at ma-drama. Sabi nila. Sabi ko naman, suplado lang ako sa taong hindi ko kilala, masungit ako kapag naiinis, maarte ako dahil ayaw ko mag-settle sa mga bagay na mediocre, at ma-drama ako dahil may lahi kaming artiste.

02. Ako ay hindi marunong maglaro ng baraha bukod sa Pares Pares at Solitaryo. Pinagbawalan ako humawak ng baraha ng aking mga magulang dahil noong High School napagbintangan ako, kasama ng ilan ko pang kaklase, na nagsusugal sa silid aralan. Nakaliban kasi ang guro noon, at yung ilan kong kaklase ay naglalaro ng Tong Its at nanunuod naman ako. May nakahuli sa aming guro at nagsumbong ito sa Attendance and Records Office. Ayun, nabahiran ng B+ ang aking straight A na marka sa Character and Conduct. Yung iba pala ay C+ ang nakuha. Mortals.

03. Ako ay marunong tumugtog ng piano. Ilang taon din ako pinakuha ng piano lessons ng aking mga magulang. Noong una ay classical talaga, tapos bigla akong tinuruan ng aking guro ng mga Church songs. Nagtaka ako. Yun pala, balak akong gawing pamalit kapag hindi siya makakatugtog kapag may misa. Pero yun, matagal na akong hindi tumutugtog, ang huli ko pang sinubukan makumpleto ay yung White Houses ni Vanessa Carlton.

04. Ako ay nahilig sa paglalaro ng Dance Dance Revo dati. Akala ko hanggang panuod na lang ako sa mga sumasayaw doon pero nung sinubukan ko, kaya naman pala. Sa totoo lang ginawa ko yun para matingnan kung may koordinasyon ang paningin at pagkilos ko (wala kasi atang terminolohiya na foot-eye coordination). Sa sobrang katuwaan ko sa larong iyon, napabili ako ng dance pad para malaro ko ito gamit ang aking PS2. Ngayon ay nakatago na ito at ayaw ko ng buksan pa.

05. Ako ay mahilig maglaro ng mga video games/arcade noong araw. Lagi akong pumupunta sa Glico's sa Glorietta 2 o doon sa food court ng SM Makati para maglaro ng arcade tulad ng paborito kong Marvel Vs. Capcom 2. Kahit marunong naman ako, bilib na bilib pa rin ako sa mga nakakapag-combo at yung mga nakakatalo sa mga naghahamon ng laban. Kaya nagsanay talaga ako hanggang nakabisado ko na yung mga combo keys. Iba pa rin kasi yung bongga ang pagkakapanalo mo sa laban. Paborito ko gamitin si Psylocke dahil bukod na sa mabilis siya kumilos at magandang tingnan ang mga combo attacks niya, malandi din kasi ang itsura niya.

06. Ako ay may koleksyon ng komiks. Malamang ay alam na ninyo na adik ako sa X-Men komiks. Yan lang ang isang bisyo ko talaga, bukod sa pamimili ng kung anu-ano. Pero bago pa man mamulat ang aking mata sa mundo ng Marvel, ako ay nangungulekta na ng Funny Comics at Bata Batuta dati. Sumasama ako sa aking Lola sa pamimili sa palengke dati, at tuwing Huwebes ay dumadaan kami sa suking tindahan ng komiks para kunin ang bagong isyu ng mga naturang babasahin. Alam ko ay naitabi ko pa yun pero dahil nagpa-ayos kami ng bahay, hindi ko na makita kung saang kahon nailagay ang mga iyun.

07. Ako ay naglalaro dati ng Role Playing games online. Ito yung may sisimulang kuwento, tapos bilang forum members mayroon kayong tauhan na mage-elaborate nung kwento o magdadagdag ng eksena sa pamamagitan ng pagpo-post. Nakakatuwang kolaborasyon ito dahil nagiging interesante talaga ang takbo ng istorya. Bukod sa nahasa ang writing skills ko, marami din akong nakilala at naging kaibigan dahil sa forum na ito - ang ilan ay si ST na taga-London, si Matt na taga-Ohio, si Lina na taga-Romania, at si Dan na taga-Norway.

08. Ako ay madalas gumamit ng pop culture references sa aking mga sinusulat. Nahawa ako sa mga istilo ng mga magagaling na manunulat tulad ni Stephen King at Joss Whedon. Sila ang ilan sa mga idolo ko. Nakakatuwa kasing isipin na kapag may mga mambabasa na nakakaintindi ng mga references na ginagamit ko. Ibig sabihin ay tama ang pagkakagamit ko, at bukod dito, magaling din yung mga nagbabasa ng likha ko.

09. Ako ay mahilig magbasa ng mga lathalain, manuod ng pelikula at serye sa telebisyon at makinig ng iba't ibang klase ng musika. Sa aking opinyon, ito yung pinakamabisang paraan para matuto ng kung anu-anong bagay. Bilang manunulat, mahalaga ang pagiging well-versed. Hindi lang yun, hindi mo alam na baka isang araw, magamit mo sa isang diskusyon ang atomic weight ng Hafnium, o ng pangalan ng kasintahan ni Miley Cyrus. Being smart and knowledgeable is never a fad.

10. Ako ay nanunuod ng T.G.I.S. (Thank God It's Sabado) dati. Hindi dahil kay Peachy at Wacks, kundi dahil kay Kiko De Dios at Mitch Ferrer. May nakahanda pa akong miryenda na V-Cut o Piknik at inuming Milo kapag oras na ng palabas. Naging sobrang tagahanga ako ng palabas na yun na pati yung pelikula nila ay pinatulan ko. Bukod dito, ang soundtrack nila ang una kong nabiling cassette tape dahil nagustuhan ko ang kanta nilang Dyslexic Heart ng sobra sobra. And then I grew up.


Naka-sampu na ako. Tama na yan dahil baka maubusan ako ng maisusulat sa mga susunod na araw.

Nga pala, hiniling ni Tere na Tagalog sana ang entry na ito kaya kahit mahirap sinunod ko. Malakas siya sa akin eh. Sana lang ay huwag naman kayong mahirapan na intindihin.

Pasensya na po.

Alam niyo naman, slang.

why they be bitin' this swag

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy
Touchstone Pictures

All She Ever Wanted Was A Little Credit.

The metaphor used by Rebecca Bloomwood, played by Isla Fisher, in her expository article about credit interest rates could not have been more appropriate to describe the movie itself. Confessions Of A Shopaholic is like that red coat that Bloomwood unhesitatingly bought – at first sight, she knew that the cashmere would look gorgeous and feel good draped on her body but had she read the fine print before charging head on, she would've realized that it's not what it purports to be. 5% cashmere, 95% polyester is still cheap, polyester.

Isla Fisher made the previews and advertisements look so glamorous and festive. Its allure would parallel the call of outlet malls or clearance sales – so irresistible. Ironically, that empty feeling that you get when you receive and browse through your billing statements after a sale is the same feeling that you'll experience while watching the movie. It is true though that there wasn’t much to begin with as the book from which the film was based on was already just mildly entertaining. Bluntly put, it was seemingly pointless. However, the audience was led to believe that the movie adaptation would be actually good, with the chic flick bar set so ridiculously high by recent box offices like The Devil Wears Prada, or Sex And The City.

Confessions Of A Shopaholic isn't funny when it's supposed to be a comedy, it's not romantic when it's supposed to be a Post-Valentine romantic offering, and its cast was not fashionable enough when it's supposed to be set in New York where being unfashionable is a crime punishable by eternal bitching, from Blair Waldorf. Admit it, there are confessions more worthy of earning film rights than Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic series. XOXO.

there's only so many songs to sing

HALO
Beyonce
I Am... Sasha Fierce

... remember those walls I built, well, baby they're tumbling down and they didn't even put up a fight, they didn't even make up a sound...

Contrary to Beyonce's delusion, I Am... Sasha Fierce is neither creative nor ground-breaking. The formal introduction of Sasha Fierce to the general public and the dual disc concept – putting all the ballads on one disc and the fiercer, upbeat tracks on the other, are anything but new. Of the sixteen tracks, only five are worth mentioning and the rest are duds – majority of which sound like rewrites of her earlier works. But that's how our girl Beyonce operates. Halo, her latest offering as not-Sasha Fierce, is a majestic piece that harks Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love. True, that after the massive success of the latter, Halo will sound like a pop-perfection manufactured to crossover and dominate all radio formats, and penultimately follow its predecessor's trend. Indeed, it is. But it doesn't matter because Beyonce, as a singles artist, has never been known for her artistry. She thrives on commercial success. So even though Halo lacks genuine soul, the song makes up for it through the elegant and ethereal production and surprisingly, her insanely fantastic vocal delivery.

LONG DISTANCE
Brandy
Human

... there's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time and I'm running out of things to get you off my mind...

Brandy, on the other hand, has never had a dud album. Not especially with her first effort since the 2004 underrated Afrodisiac and the 2006 car tragedy that she was involved in, Human. The album is a collection of pop and mid-tempo r&b ballads that offers nothing new to the audience. Instead, it relies on the consistency of Brandy's skill to sing of life, love and loss and transform these melodies into the timeless pieces they were meant to be. Like Long Distance, the second single off her new album. It is a piano-driven introspection, about the conditions of a long-distance relationship, that is believable enough that it actually is affecting. To call it a nice ballad would be an injustice. Let's just say that one would think that it was a work done by Diane Warren. It's that good. Lite radio good.

WHITE HORSE
Taylor Swift
Fearless

... I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale, I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell...

Everybody loves dialogues in music videos. So imagine the universe's delight to know that there were multiple speaking lines in the video edit of White Horse. "All I want is you. Do You Love Me," the ex asks. Taylor says, "Yes." Guy asks another question, "Can you give me another chance?" Will she say yes? Who cares. It's like "Rose", "Jack" all over again except this time, the song is genuinely, awesomely good. In fact, it is by far, the best heartbreaking song I've heard since 2005's We Belong Together. "I never thought I'd meet anybody like him. I feel like he's everything I've ever wanted," Swift shares her love story as if reading the words straight out of her diary. Her meeting a prince charming on his white horse - the imagery is just so perfect. And imagining this coming from a pristine country girl just makes it much more real. Then shit had to happen when the whistle blower confesses, "There's something you should know about him." And instead of taking the tired "Before He Cheats" or "Irreplaceable" act, Swift opted to stick to her fairy tale theme and be the heartbroken wide-eyed princess who, apparently, was smart enough to say, "No!"

ako si...

MakMak.

Palayaw yan sa akin nung bata pa ako at hindi ko iyan alter ego.

Madalas itong gamitin ng aking mga tiyuhin at tiyahin, lalo na nung asawa ng kapatid ng Lolo ko na itago nalang natin sa pangalang Nene. Tuwing bibili ako ng miryenda kay Ate Nene lagi niyang sinasambit, "Oh si MakMak pala. Itong batang 'to oh" sabay kunot ng noo. Tuwing sasapit ang ika-apat ng hapon, pagkagising ko mula sa siyesta ay didiretso na ako sa tindahan nila, sasampa sa isang munting kahoy na upuan para maabot ang butas at kakatukin yung lamesa ng tindahan sabay sigaw ng "Pabili, pabili, pabili!" ng paulit-ulit hanggang sa may lumabas para asistihin ako. Yun, ituturo ko yung hopia na mula sa Tipas, sabay Coca Cola na ipapasalin ko sa plastik. Solb na ako dun. Araw-araw ganun ang siste, ganun din ang diyalogo niya. Kunsabagay, hindi rin naman nagbabago ang hirit ko na, "Pakilista na lang po kay Lola ha" matapos niyang i-abot ang aking miryenda.

Sa totoo lang, lahat na ata ng palayaw na hango sa pangalang Mark ay naitawag na sa akin. Pero dahil sa medyo maigsi ang pangalan ko, at talaga namang masyadong karaniwan din (sige, bilangin mo kung ilan ang Mark na nasa phone book mo), palibhasa maganda, yung ibang kilala ko ay medyo nagiging malikhain sa paggawa ng palayaw sa akin. Masyadong malikhain kamo na pati pangalan nila Marky Marky, Mark Herras, Marky Cielo at Mark Bautista ginagamit na pangtawag sa akin. Buong pangalan nila ha. Halatang-halata mo tuloy kung anu ang mga pinagkaka-abalahan nila sa libre nilang oras.

Nung nasa kolehiyo ako, Marky ang tawag sa akin ng mga kasama ko sa school paper. Pero bago pa man nila nagamit yun ay Marky na rin ang tawag sakin ng mga kasama ko nung Hiskul. Kahit uso noon na apelyido ang gamit na pantawag sa kapwa estudyante, Marky, the Sharky naman ang palayaw sa akin ng aking mga minions. Siyempre, espesyal ako. Isa lang pala ang nagpa-uso noon pero alam mo naman sa Hiskul. Parang fetch lang yan. Yun nga lang, yung "Marky, the Sharky" happened, yung fetch hindi. Pero hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin alam kung saan nanggaling yung "sharky". Hindi naman ako mukhang pating, amoy pating at lalong hindi naman ako kasing-laki ng pating, no.

Nung Third Year High School, naisipan ng grupo na gamitin ang initials ng pangalan sa halip na apelyido. Kung hindi ka namin ka-grupo, apelyido pa rin ang tawag sa iyo para ma-distinguish ang hierarchy. LOL. Hango ang ideyang iyun sa klase namin sa drafting na kung saan initials lang at class number yung ginagamit na pang-marka sa aming mga pinapasang proyekto at eksamen. Natural, M ang tawag sa akin. Oo, bago pa maging sikat si S at B, ako na si M. Pero hindi nagtagal yun. Hindi dahil sa may kapareho ako ng initial ngunit dahil may kaibigan kami na Em ang nickname. Dapat E diba? Pasaway kasi siya kaya ganun.

Parang yung mga naging guro ko. Halos lahat sila ay tinatawag ako sa buong pangalan ko. I mean, yung first at second name ko. Hindi ko mawari pero parang tuwang-tuwa sila na yun ang gamitin. Hindi ba nila alam na sila lang yung naaaliw? Hindi sa kinakahiya ko yung pangalan ko pero, puwede ba, call me by my preferred name. Sana hindi nalang sila nagtanong noong first day kung ano gusto kong itawag nila sa akin.

Importante sa akin na tawagin ako sa pangalan ko mapa –Mark, -MakMak, -Mak, -Marky, -Maki, -Macky, o -Marc man yan. Hinding-hindi mo makukuha ang atensyon ko kung tatawagin mo ko gamit ang "hey", "hi", "uy", "oi" at lalo na ang "psst". Para sa akin, ang pagsambit ng pangalan ng isang tao ay sagrado. Bukod sa nagpapahayag ito ng respeto, ang paggamit ng pangalan o palayaw ay pagkilala rin sa kanya bilang isang espesyal na indibidwal.

Kaya huwag kalimutan, ako si MakMak.

lovebug: 14 days to love (epilogue)

"Magkababata kami talaga. Tapos nag-seaman siya. Naka-ilang biyahe na rin siya. Pero last year nabigla niya ako sa sinabi niya - bago daw siya umalis ulit gusto niya na pakasalan na ako." Thieze recalled these events while wearing an immaculate smile.

"Nagulat naman ako dahil biglaan din yun. Sabi ko wala pa kaming ipon. Marso na ang alis niya at gusto niya ay this January ang kasal namin. Sabi niya..."

He was sure that she continued on sharing her tale to the rest of those who were left at the pantry. But the rest of her words were lost to Mak who was busy reveling in his own love story.


Whoso loves, believes the impossible.
- Elisabeth Barrett Browning

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 14)

WE WERE BOTH YOUNG WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU


"Ganito kasi yun..."

Madalas na nakakasabay ko siya sa jeep kapag alas-otso na ako pumapasok. Malamang pang-alas nuwebe siya kaya ganoong oras ang biyahe niya. Eh hawak ko naman ang oras ko kaya wala sa akin yung ma-late ng kaunti.

Napapansin ko na siya noon pa. Medyo may hitsura kasi. Maganda ang postura. At malamang mahilig din sa musika kasi palaging naka-earphones.

Noong minsan ay nailabas niya yung kanyang ID. Gusto ko sanang makita yung pangalan niya, or kahit kung saan siya nagtatrabaho pero nakabaligtad kasi noong sinuot niya. Ang alam ko lang ay nauuna siyang bumaba sa akin at naglalakad siya papalayo mula sa aking opisina.

Isang Biyernes, napansin kong naiwan niya ang kanyang asul na panyo sa upuan noong bumaba siya. Noong una ay nag-alinlangan pa ako pero naisip ko na nasisira ang araw ko kapag wala akong panyo. Kinuha ko yun at bumaba sa jeep. Buti nalang at nahabol ko siya.

Sabi ko, 'naiwan mo oh'.

Sabi naman niya, 'ay, thanks ha' habang nakangiti.

'Wala yun. Sige." Paalam ko sa kanya sabay talikod para maglakad patungo sa aking opisina, suot ang isang ngiti.

Naging busy ako nung mga sumunod na araw kaya maaga ako umaalis sa bahay at dahil dito, hindi ko siya nakakasabay sa jeep. Medyo nawala na rin sa isip ko yung insidente sa panyo kaya nung minsan na nahuli ako ng pagpasok, nakita ko siya na nakatayo sa kanto, tila nag-aabang, kahit halos wala pang sakay ang jeep na naghihintay.

Nakita niya ako sa aking kinakatayuan, lumapit siya sa akin at nagsabing, 'uy, salamat ulit doon sa panyo ha. Hinintay kita nung mga nakaraang araw pero hindi kita naaabutan dito.'

Isang umaga, sa gitna ng abalang kalye ng siyudad, doon sa sakayan ng jeep, doon kami nagkakilala.


Romeo, save me. I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. Is this in my head? I don't know what to think.
- Taylor Swift, Love Story

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 13)

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES


"Naku kuwento ko lang sandali. Naalala ko yung crush ko back in college. Dumating yung time na niligawan niya ako. So dahil crush, siyempre nakakakilig. We went out for quite some time, pero parang wala yung magic eh," Doll said. "Yun pa naman yung hinahanap ko."

"Anong magic?

Yung feeling kapag magka-usap kayo maghapon pero hindi kayo maubus-ubusan ng pagku-kuwentuhan?

At hindi basta-basta conversation lang, talagang intellectually-stimulating yung discussions.

Kapag gabi ay magkaka-salo kayo para sa dinner?

At natutuwa ka dahil kaharap mo na siya, pero mas natutuwa ka kapag nahuhuli mo na tumitingin din siya sa iyo?

Tapos pag-weekend ay lalabas pa ulit kayo?

At hindi kumpleto ang araw kapag hindi kayo nakakarinig sa isa't isa?

Technically, araw-araw at oras-oras na kayong magkasama pero hindi kayo nagkakasawaan?"

He cited dreamily.

JM let out a soft chuckle and said, "Ayan, from experience ba yan?"

"Eh, akala ko ba wala kang girlfriend?" Doll asked.

"Eh hindi naman kailangan ng girlfriend para malaman yan mga bagay na ganyan kaya." He said while wearing a sheepish grin. "Di ba?"


Oh, oh, oh.
- Beyonce, Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 12)

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES


"One time nasa dorm lobby ako with my friends. I was complaining that I didn't understand what our professor said. Then this guy, he must've heard our discussion, walked over and confidently said 'If you want, I can help you. Madali lang yun.'.

Ako naman napatingin lang. Napa-isip kung papaturo ba ako or what. Since hindi naman talaga ako yung ganoong tipo. I just politely declined."

"Pero ang haba ng hair mo ha," the youngest one teased.

"Oo naman! Hahaha. Pagbalik namin sa dorm room, naglolokohan kami ng friends ko. Sabi nila para daw akong sira kasi ayun na nga pero deadma lang ako. Sabi ko naman sa kanila, sigurado me dinadalaw yun na ibang girl sa dorm kasi ano naman gagawin niya doon di ba?

Tapos meron naman time na nasiraan kami ng car sa daan. Ganoon din, may lumapit sa akin na lalake offering his help. Basta ganoon ang trend sa buhay ko eh.

Pero I never really took those actions as a come on even if lahat ng friends ko ganoon ang tingin."

"Hindi ka lang siguro assuming talaga. Pero siguro gusto rin nila makipagkilala sa'yo. Yun nga lang, kimi ka."

"Ayun! Kimi nga. Pero nagbago na ako eh. Di ko lang alam kung huli na. Kung may lalapit ngayon, hindi na ako tatanggi tiyak." She said laughing a bit as she took a bite off the chocolate fudge cake. "Minsan niloloko ko nga ang tatay ko na kaya ganito ako kasi ito yung sinasabi niya na gusto niya na ako yung mag-aalaga sa kanila pagdating ng araw."

"Sad ba?"

"Oo, sad." JM and Doll chorused, laughing.

"Hindi kaya kasi mataas lang ang standards mo masyado? O hindi kaya meron ka ng nabuong fairy tale romance sa iyong isip kaya tuloy nahihirapan kang makakita ng ganoong pangyayari sa totoong buhay. I'm sure meron ka ng concept on how you would want to meet your partner, no? Hinahanap mo siguro yung spark?"

"Ay oo! Ang galing mo naman," She admitted.

"Hahaha. Siyempre!" He paused before continuing, "Pero ako, hindi ako naniniwala sa spark, spark na ‘yan eh…"

TO BE CONTINUED.


Acting up, drink in my cup. I can care less what you think.
- Beyonce, Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 11)

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES


"Ewan ko ba pero noong bata ako lagi nilang sinasabi na magiging madre ako. Lagi akong tinutukso ng mga tita ko, mga kalaro, pati mga kapatid ko na sa kumbento ang bagsak ko. Yun, kapag sinasabi nila yun napapa-iyak ako. Malamang kasi ayaw kong maging madre. Pero tuwing nababanggit nila yun, napapa-isip ako kung yun nga ba talaga ang kapalaran ko sa buhay.

Naalala ko pa nung 21 years old ako. Unang salang ko sa field work. Pinadala ako ng IS ko sa isang institution sa Antipolo kung saan nag-aaral yung mga pari, madre at ibang lay persons. Paghatid sa akin ng magaling kong IS, iniwan din ako. Yun pala, mag-isa lang ako sa engagement na 'to. Dahil first audit ko, hindi ko pa alam yung mga gagawin kaya medyo nakakabalisa. At siyempre, dumagdag pa yung isipin na teka, hindi kaya sign ito?

Kinagabihan, nagdasal ako sa Kanya. Sabi ko, kung ano man ang gusto Niya para sa akin, sana magbigay siya ng malinaw na senyales bukas ng umaga. Nakakalito na kasi, nakakalito kasi sa totoo lang, ayaw ko talagang maging madre.

Maaga akong nagising dahil maaga ang agahan. Malamang. Habang kumakain ako, nilapitan ako ng isang madre na may dala-dalang mga leaflets at flyers at kung ano pa man yun. Iniimbita ako na makipag-diskusyon tungkol sa buhay at "calling" pagtapos kumain.

Diyos ko.

Hindi ko na tinapos ang aking pagkain at madali akong bumalik sa kuwarto. Hindi na rin ako umabot sa kama dahil pagkasara ko ng pintuan, napaupo ako sa sahig at tumulo na lang ang luha ko. Kaya pagpatak ng 8:30, pumasok ako sa opisina na maga ang mata.

Hindi ko makakalimutan yun. Noong mga panahon na iyon, hindi ko masabi-sabi ang totoong dahilan kung bakit ako napa-iyak. Kasi kung sasambitin ko yun, parang tinatanggap ko na yun talaga ang tadhana ko. At obviously, gusto kong magka-pamilya. Gusto kong umibig.

Looking back, siguro nga sign yun ni God. Hindi sign na meant ako maging madre. On the contrary, sa inasta ko sa mga pangyayaring yun naliwanagan ako na hindi talaga ako para sa kumbento."

JM ended her story as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Sabi naman ng kaibigan ko, para daw akong damsel in distress…," Doll pouted her lips as she started to narrate her own.

TO BE CONTINUED.


I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips, got me tighter in my Dereon jeans.
- Beyonce, Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 10)

HEAD UNDER WATER (PLAYLIST TWO: THE THING ABOUT LOVE)

01. A THOUSAND MILES, Vanessa Carlton
It's always times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me.

02. SOMETHING RIGHT, Westlife
If you want me I must be doing something right. I got nothing left to prove and it's all because of you.

03. TOUCH MY HAND, David Archuleta
I see the sparkle of a million flashlights, a wonder wall of stars. But the one that's shining out so bright is the one right where you are.

04. TAKE MY BREATH AWAY, Emma Bunton
If I told you how I feel about you, would you say the same?

05. SAKAYAN NG JEEP, Nikki Gil
May kung anong kilig na nadarama sa tuwing nakikitang nag-aabang.

06. CRUSH, Mandy Moore
You know, I'm the one that you can talk to. Sometimes you tell me things that I don't wanna know. I just want to hold you. You say exactly how you feel about her. I wonder, could you ever think of me that way?

07. COME TO ME, Jesse McCartney
Let me be the one, lovin' you when you're weak. For all of the strength you need, you can come to me.

08. WHEN YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYES, Jonas Brothers and Vanessa Hudgens
When you look me in the eyes and tell me that you love me, everything's alright when you're right here by my side.

09. CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE, Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron
It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you. It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do.

10. SUDDENLY ITS MAGIC, Aryana
Well, I've been in and out of love and it hurts just the same. Love can really change your life.

11. BE, Jessica Simpson
Being with you is like a scene from a dream in heaven. I feel you running through all my senses. Will you taste like rain? Can I breathe you like air? Will I lose myself in your arms somewhere?

12. I NEED LOVE, Laura Pausini
I need love, the kind that makes you wanna live, the kind that makes you wanna breathe, the kind that makes you feel too much.

13. YOU GET THROUGH, Jennifer Paige
You, you get through even with my walls in place, even with my poker face and all those little girl games I play.

14. SMASH INTO YOU, Beyonce
It flows, what I hear no one else has to know. 'Cause I know that we have is worth first place and gold.

15. FOR YOU FROM ME, Jon McLaughlin
It's just the way you say my name that throws me and all the windows of my past are closing, and everything that you see is for you from me.

16. THERE FOR ME, Mariah Carey
All, it would take all of my life to find someone more there for me.

17. Collide, Nina
Even if we collide, we'll find the reason to fight. And we will meet side by side.

18. WHO NEEDS THE WORLD, Nick Carter
I have all I need inside of this room. Who needs the world when I've got you.

19. WITH YOU, Chris Brown
And now I know I can't be the only one. I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight with the love of their life who feel what I feel when I'm with you.

20. ALL I SEE, Kylie Minogue
I get lost in time when I'm looking in your eyes and we're body to body.

21. CRADLE, Atomic Kitten
I was only thinking of you, hoping you were thinking of me.

22. I PROMISE, Stacie Orrico
Will I be the one you need? Will I do all my best to protect you? When tears get near your eyes, will I be the one that's by your side?

23. I'M YOURS, Jason Mraz
So I won't hesitate, no more. It cannot wait, I'm sure there's no need to complicate. Our time is short. This is our fate.

24. WRONG IMPRESSION, Natalie Imbruglia
Falling out, falling out. Have you ever wondered what we could've been if you'd only let me in?

25. NOTHIN' 'BOUT LOVE MAKES SENSE, LeAnn Rimes
Nothin' 'bout love is less than confusing. You can win when you're losing, stand when you're falling. I can't figure it out. Nothin' 'bout love can make an equation, nothin' short of amazing. Wish I could explain it, but I don't know how.

*******

More than anything else, I want to be that song, coming through your headphone.


Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to write you a love songs, today.
- Sara Bareilles, Love Song

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 9)

HEAD UNDER WATER (PLAYLIST ONE: THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE)


01. I HATE THIS PART, The Pussycat Dolls
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep. But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me?

02. DREAMING WITH A BROKEN HEART, John Mayer
When you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part.

03. LONG DISTANCE, Brandy
There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time and I'm runnin' out of things to do to get you off my mind.

04. I CAN'T BREAK IT TO MY HEART, Delta Goodrem
Is it just me, did I commit a crime? I won't believe that loving you is just a waste of time. Or was it in my head, I'm reading into things that you never said?

05. I REMEMBER, Keyshia Cole
I remember when I walked out. I remember when I screamed, I hated you. But somehow deep inside still lovin' you. Sad and lonely.

06. BLUE EYES BLUE, Eric Clapton
'Cause you were only playing. You were only playing with my heart. I was never waiting. I was never waiting for the tears to start.

07. OUT OF REACH, Gabrielle
Out of reach, so far. I never had your heart.

08. WHO KNEW, Pink
If someone said three years from now you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out 'cause they're all wrong. I knew better 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?

09. LOVE IS A LOSING GAME, Amy Winehouse
Though I'm rather blind, love is a fate resigned.

10. WHEN THERE WAS ME AND YOU, Vanessa Hudgens
Now I know you're not a fairy tale and dreams were meant for sleeping, and wishes on a star just don't come true.

11. FEW DAYS DOWN, Mandy Moore
If nobody sees you cry, you can say it was raining outside.

12. SOMEBODY'S ME, Enrique Iglesias
Somebody hopes that one day you will see that somebody's me.

13. WHAT'S LEFT OF ME, Nick Lachey
Now I'm broken and I'm fading. I'm half the man I thought I would be but you can have what's left of me.

14. CHASING PAVEMENTS, Adele
But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough 'cause it was not said to you.

15. RUN, Leona Lewis
I'll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go. You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done.

16. THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS, Kelly Clarkson
I swore I'd never love again. I swore my heart would never mend. Said love wasn't worth the pain, but then I hear it call my name.

17. I STAY IN LOVE, Mariah Carey
And I try to front like "oh well", each time you let me down.

18. SO FAR AWAY, Tina Arena
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?

19. THE HARDEST THING, 98 Degrees
I know we'll meet again. Fate has a place and time. So you can get on with your life, I've got to be cruel to be kind.

20. JUST SO YOU KNOW, Jesse McCartney
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not 'cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop.

21. TENNESSEE, The Wreckers
I never had all the answers. I never had enough time. But I sure had all the reasons why you weren't what I wanted to find.

22. WHAT HURTS THE MOST, Rascal Flatts
What hurts the most was being so close and havin' so much to say, and watchin' you walk away.

23. I TOLD YOU SO, Carrie Underwood
Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely and you waited for the day that I return and we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only or would you say the tables finally turned?

24. WHITE HORSE, Taylor Swift
Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance. I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings, now I know.

25. SO CLOSE, Jon McLaughlin
We're so close to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing this was not pretend.

*******

The advent of portable mp3 players made it possible to easily create, organize and maintain a playlist. Unlike before when we had to suffice with pre-recording a mixed tape with a list of eight to twelve of our favorite songs so we can listen to them until a new set of singles catch our fancy. It was a tedious job but the satisfaction of being able to enjoy sound tripping on a personalized playlist made the task bearable. It is an art - from choosing the best mix of songs (mixed tapes tend to revolve around a certain theme), arranging it in the most perfect sequence as if narrating a story, and to making the cover design.

I used to have a close friend who was a sucker for sappy love songs. And I mean I-Found-A-Diary-Underneath-A-Tree sappy. I did her a favor by upgrading her taste in music, because I'm such a good friend.

In February of 2005, I gave her a double-disc mixed tape which contains twenty four contemporary songs of love (disc one) and loss (disc two). Its goal was to educate her so she could tell what is good from what was good. She said she loved it. And to my utter embarrassment, she proudly showed it off to our officemates whom in turn asked me to give them copies as well. For some silly reason, I felt accomplished.

She probably still listens to it every now and then. But I really wouldn't know. I haven't spoken to her for, I don't know, the past thirty three months.

The press release: we kind of drifted apart.

Do I miss her? Not really. See, I don't miss. I get missed by.


I'm not gonna write you to stay. If your heart is nowhere in it, I don't want it for a minute.
- Sara Bareilles, Love Song

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 8)

LIKE A CLOUD FULL OF RAIN SHOULDN'T HANG IN THE SKY


You don't need instructions on how to read this, or do you?

-----Original Message-----
From: S
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:59 PM
To: B
Subject: Re: Wee!

Yep, yep, I know! Ü Didn't mean to imply na di ka busy. We have time to do both naman. Puwede ka ng umuwi in 2 minutes! Ü

-----Original Message-----
From: B
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:51 PM
To: S
Subject: Re: Wee!

Wah! Busy din ako no... :(

-----Original Message-----
From: S
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:49 PM
To: B
Subject: Re: Wee!

Hahahaha! Ü Ako busy, pero may time pa for philosophical thinking. I like philosophy!

-----Original Message-----
From: B
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:44 PM
To: S
Subject: Re: Wee!

Hahaha. Yup! Ü It was so interesting na hindi ko namalayan na malapit na uwian. Haha. It's always fun discussing things with people who have something to say.

-----Original Message-----
From: S
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:31 PM
To: B
Subject: Re: Wee!

Actually, that's an apt analogy. Ü And the conclusion's right, as well. When love comes in... anything can happen. Ü Wee! What an interesting discussion, B! Hahaha. Ü

-----Original Message-----
From: B
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:27 PM
To: S
Subject: Re: Wee!

That's true. I mean, we will be most compatible with persons who are, for the most part, like ourselves. Who can better understand an Upper East Sider than another Upper East Sider, right? Hahaha. Sorry, I can't think of a witty analogy. :P

But those are just ideals. They get thrown out the window, most of the time, when "love" comes in. Haha.

-----Original Message-----
From: S
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:07 PM
To: B
Subject: Re: Wee!

Cruel ba? Oopsie. Ü

I agree, actually. What I meant was this:

Experience tells me that people in general want to be with someone better. It sounds like it's an achievement, I know, but that's how it works in people's minds, I think. Not only because it's bragging material (so shallow but true), but in a deeper sense, it provides you with the potential to become one with that "better" person. In other words, by being with someone better, you become better yourself. Ü

However: I, personally, believe in the psychology of Matching Hypothesis. I don't know which psychiatrist forwarded this notion, but once I heard it back in college, I immediately agreed. People tend to be with someone their own level, physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc. While people may WANT to be with someone better, they end up being with someone their level.

-----Original Message-----
From: B
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 3:51 PM
To: S
Subject: Re: Wee!

"Or resignation to one's fate." Oh, so cruel. Tsk, tsk. Haha.

Wouldn't you want to be with an equal instead of someone "better"? Personally, I apply that idealism to my friends - I choose people whom I consider to be better than myself in an aspect or two. But for partners, I would tend to look for someone whom I consider as an equal. Of course, maraming loopholes yung statements ko but that's the general idea. Haha.

-----Original Message-----
From: S
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 3:38 PM
To: B
Subject: Re: Wee!

In a weird way, you're right. Actually, to take it one step further: 2 notties together is rarer than 2 cuties together. We always strive for something better e, someone cuter than us, so if 2 notties find themselves with each other, then it's love. Or resignation to one's fate. Whichever.

-----Original Message-----
From: B
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 3:33 PM
To: S
Subject: Re: Wee!

Hmmm... I usually notice the extremes - the hotties and the notties. Hahaha. Ang sama ko. Ü So if the couple is: cute+not-so-cute, I won't immediately notice them. UNLESS, the cute one has enough cuteness for the two of them. Hahaha. Mas glaring kasi kung 2 notties. I don't know. Ü Much like how eye-catching kapag dalawang cute. Right? :( I'm so mean. :(

-----Original Message-----
From: S
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 3:16 PM
To: B
Subject: Re: Wee!

Hahaha. What if one was cute and the other was not? What do you assume then? Ü (I have the same bias re: the other two scenarios. Maybe it's just wishful thinking/fairytale ending that two cute persons end up together, and we wish we ended up the same way. As for two not-so-cute ones, well, keber.)

-----Original Message-----
From: B
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 1:38 PM
To: S
Subject: Re: Wee!

Stray thought: while I was walking back to the office from Starbucks Valero, I saw two average looking persons walking together. And then it occurred to me, how come when two cute persons are seen together, most people assume (and by most people, I mean me) that they are a couple. But when two not-so-cute fellas are seen together, wala lang. Hahaha. I'm weird. :\


Someone so perfect can't be fallin' for me.
- LeAnn Rimes, Nothin' 'Bout Love Makes Sense

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 7)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?

BRIDE WARS
Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway
20th Century Fox

Even Best Friends Can’t Share The Same Wedding Day.

Something tells me that there was a valid reason why this movie wasn't screened as a VDay 09 release. Bride Wars has been panned by critics as the worst movie of the year. Anyone in their right frame of mind would ascertain that it definitely is. Romantic comedies are supposed to be one - romantic, and two - funny. People would've settled for either but sadly, the movie neither offers romantic thrills or brilliant humor. One can say that it is actually a drama about friendship coming out triumphant over anything but Bride Wars still fails to project that concept. Miserably. The slapstick jokes are sloppy. The supporting characters are dispensable and useless. The plot is utterly predictable. The ending is a cop out. In short, the movie is pointless. Pointless. Pointless! Even Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway's charm can't save this film. Not unless their characters ended up marrying each other which probably could've raised the interest level a notch higher than "blah". But until that happens, Hudson and Hathaway's weddings can suck it.

Yes, I believe in love. I believe it because I've tried.
- Estelle feat. Cee-Lo, Pretty Please (Love Me)

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 6)

YOU'RE IN MY ARMS AND ALL THE WORLD IS CALM (PART II)


"The kiss, is this how it feels as a ghost?"

Margaret chuckled. "I have learned to deal with it. I encounter people on occasion, but it is my lot in this... life," she said. "And tonight, you're here with me. I wished for this for a long time."

Tyler nodded. "As have I."

The night was wonderful and everything was going all right. But time slipped so quickly when they both realized that it was already dawn.

"Margaret," Tyler said. "I think I..."

"Shh," Margaret hushed him. "You need to be with someone real. You cannot be sustained by these fantasies. You'll understand someday."

"Then I want to remember," Tyler remarked.

"You what?"

"Don't take this away from me, Margaret." Tyler sobbed. "For years I have waited to feel like this. I knew that this was bound to not last. So I want to remember. Please."

Margaret thought about it for a time, then nodded. "As you wish," she whispered, and kissed Tyler again. Once more, everything in his line of sight faded into the bright light.

*******

Tyler found himself on the floor of the keep. The cold stone against his back woke him up. He blinked, as if coming out of a dream. His eyes searching for the sparse stream of light coming from the tiny cracks in the castle walls. Regaining his breath, he turned over and jumped at the sound of feet against the earth. He stood up feeling his entire body sore and realized what happened. He must have slipped from the stairs and landed with all these rubble, losing consciousness in the process. But it doesn't explain the vivid thoughts that lingered - the kiss, the night's festivities, the jovial music, her scent. But it doesn't make any sense.

"Hey, you're awake!" A voice called out and stirred him from his position. "You had me worried, you know."

As he looked towards his companion, he shrugged off all those distracting thoughts. None of it mattered anyway.


Let's go on, on dreaming for we know we are - so close and still so far.
- Jon McLaughlin, So Close

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 5)

YOU'RE IN MY ARMS AND ALL THE WORLD IS CALM (PART I)


"You feel helpless? Margaret, I spent years thinking I had failed you."

Margaret put a hand on Tyler's shoulders, despite the fact that there was no true contact. "But you didn't." Without a word, she placed her fingers against his temple. In his mind, he could see a pulse of light pushing its way forward until it covered his entire vision, rendering him temporarily blind.

It was evening in the keep, but the lanterns strewn along the walls made it appear to be midday. Tyler looked around and saw guests chatting cheerily with one another, there are those who are sitting along side fine tables laden with food, and some were attentively listening to the bards' performance. To his astonishment, the walls were whole again and freshly painted. The floor of black marble smooth enough that one could see his reflection in it. And his caught by surprise - his simple clothes were no longer to be seen. Instead, he wore a garment fit for nobility - tunic, shirt, breeches and all.

"Do you want to dance, Tyler?" He looked back at the lady as he took her hand. And as they swayed to the music they were hearing, he whispered, "This is so unreal."

"In our minds, it is real," she said, extending her hand. "That is what matters."

And all at once, every urge roared up in Tyler like a flood. He closed his gap between them, took her in his arms and pressed his lips against hers. Margaret was the first to draw back from the kiss. Tyler shook his head, his arms still wrapped around the girl. "The kiss, is this how it feels..."

TO BE CONTINUED.

A life goes by. Romantic dreams must die. So I bid mine goodbye and never knew.
- Jon McLaughlin, So Close

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 4)

CALLED YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY


There is a joy in seeing you,
Even for just a little while,
Which I do not think you are aware of.

If you knew of it, would you have stayed?


I can't get your smile out of my mind. I think about your eyes all the time.
- Jonas Brothers, Lovebug

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 3)

I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T LOVE YOU SO


A few minutes after he got a reply saying that it was better if they would not talk or go out for the day and just let things cool off. Looking back, this was something he would pray for. During those nights when he'd come home brokenhearted, he would ask for a sign - a way out, a way to kill the feeling without feeling the guilt of letting a hypothetical future pass. And now he got it and then some. I bet he'd take those words back just to see D once again.
- If You Think You're Lonely Now (Bobby Womack's On The Radio), Part III

*******

"We need to talk. I'm on my way to your place. Now."

It was forty past ten in the evening when he decided that he really need to see D. He grabbed his jacket and headed out. His mom asked where he was going at this hour. With much effort to hide the sadness and distress in his voice, he promised that he'll be back before midnight.

He boarded the first southbound bus he saw at Edsa. It was mostly empty save for a number of tired-looking souls who looked up as he walked towards the back end of the bus. He shrugged them off as he put on his jacket's hood and sat by the window. He couldn't help but be saddened that instead of laying down on a nice, warm bed, eyes closed and mind shut from the bothers and burdens of life's causalities, he was on the road in the middle of the night with a bunch of strangers who are most probably headed to that nirvana called sleep. But even if he chose to stay, he assumed that sleep will elude him. He'd be restless as ever with a mindset that only a closure can give him his peace back.

"Nai-inis ako sa'yo at ginawa mo 'yan. Umuwi ka na." A concerned friend told him through an SMS. But he insisted on going. He said that he want this over with.

It was already past eleven o'clock when he reached his destination.

"I'm here. Asan ka ba? Bakit hindi ka nag-rereply? I know you're not at work so there's no reason for you not to show up. I'll wait for you even if I have to stand here until dawn."

And by the pavement he stood and waited. The night sky was without its usual incandescence and there was nothing but that solitary street lamp to give him light during one of his life's darkest hours.


Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself, 'cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me but I thought I knew everything I never felt
- Mariah Carey, We Belong Together

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 2)

WE DO ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT LOVERS DO


You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since Jessica Simpson and her father only you and I get to "mreow" and they can't, 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up.

That's Samantha James (Anna Faris) talking to Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds). She's funny without even trying. And her being funny constitutes, more or less, three quarters of the reason why I love the movie Just Friends. However, she has nothing to do with what I'm about to point out. I needed a segue and Samantha James is just that.

As I have mentioned, I love Just Friends. It ranks way up on my favorite list with the likes of Mean Girls and Coyote Ugly - movies that I can just watch over and over again. In fact, I think I have seen it so many times that I already know the screenplay by heart. Loser, much? I know!

Anyway, there's this guy Chris who's BFF with Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart) back in High School. When he confessed his love to her, she turned him down and said that she loves him like a brother. Obviously, he was devastated and heartbroken. He moved to LA and became an attractive and successful music manager. Due to a plane accident, he ended up staying at his hometown for a couple of days. He encounters his old friends, including Jaime, and decides that he won't settle to being just friends this time.

Some people say that friends shouldn't fancy each other. But who can blame Chris for falling for his best friend? There's always that big chance for a circumstance like this to happen. It's perfectly logical if you think about it. Who is in the better position to love someone other than the person whom someone has an affinity to begin with, a person whom someone has spent countless hours growing up and learning things with, a person whom someone has shared bouts of laughter and tears with, a person who has selflessly cared for that someone day in and day out? So far, I don't see any flaw in the set up. Not especially if the bond between the two persons has been established in strong foundation.

In reality though, not all stories have ever afters. So yes, it's a risk. It's a very huge risk. But sometimes, it's all worth it. One wouldn't know if it's a timeless love story waiting to be uncovered unless one tries.

Chris did. And he got his happy ever after.

That's the other 25%.

I would hate for you to find somebody new, who you really love 'cause it could mean losing you. But am I a fool girl not to say. If I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway.
- 98 Degrees, Why (Are We Still Friends)

lovebug: 14 days to love (day 1)

THEY SAY IT'S A RIVER THAT CIRCLES THE EARTH


Weeknight. Midnight.

By this time, Kalayaan is already dark and deserted save for the few stray cars and cabs that pass the otherwise busy street. Together with Palma, and several coffee shops and restaurants in the area, the avenue bore witness to countless conversations between two friends. Homebound, they would talk about the mundane like the music of Spears and the Jonas Brothers, recall and share stories from their recent years, and philosophize on the more sensible topics like life, and love.

"Sige, so how do you define love?" One of them challenged the other as they walked uphill.

As expected, a lengthy, philosophical discussion ensued with the more conventional concepts like love is an unexplainable force, or that it is unconditional and trusting and caring and passionate and romantic, or that love is all we need, unintentionally never brought up.

Both however agreed that more than the feeling aspect, love is actually a conscious decision. More than anything else, love is an action. It is more than that spark, or that lust, or that sharing of common interests. Because love is that conscious effort to make everything work, even when you don't feel like it. It's that effort to try over and over again, even when you feel like you've already lost it. It's that effort that makes you hold on, even when you feel like you're being insane about your decisions.

Love is all about commitment. When these things are taken to heart, contentment and happiness will surely follow.

Love takes the tears and the pain, and it turns it in to the beauty that remains.
- Vanessa Williams and Brian McKnight, Love Is