where the air tastes like rain

You bring your laugh, and I'll bring my sense of humor.

Let us waste our days, one after another.

*******

Falling slowly. Up in the mountains, still.

the trending topic (t plus five)

MakMak: Hey, you should watch (500) Days Of Summer. =)

Exactly twenty nine days after...

T2: Napanuod ko na (500) DOS. =)

MakMak: So how did you find the story of my life? Hehe =)

T2: Interesting, but sad. Hehe. Like ko yung little girl. Napa-ouch nga ako doon sa sinabi niya na parang "di porke magkapareho sa ilang bagay eh soulmate na". Do you think love is really just a fantasy?

MakMak: Nope. Love is a commitment. =) It's a conscious decision to make things work.

T2: Yeah. But sometimes love is not enough to make some things work.

MakMak: I think if two people are really in love with each other, it is. =)

T2: You really have a deep faith in love. Hehe.

MakMak: Hehe. Yup. It's the only way to experience it. If you don't put faith in something, then it's probably not worth having. Haha. =) Masaya lang isipin na meant tayo for that kind of love.

T2: Oo nga eh. Ang sarap isipin... pero hanggang sa isip na lang ba? Hahaha. Tinatanong ko sarili ko... Naniniwala pa ba ako sa love? Hindi ko alam paano sagutin. Hehe.

MakMak: Naniniwala ka kaso takot ka lang maging vulnerable ulit. =)

T2: Ganoon? Hehe. Siguro nga.

Love. Everyone seems to be so into it these days.

hope floats

People fall out of love. They fall right back in.
It happens all the time.

*******

After praying for a sign. Up in the mountains.

makes you wonder (t plus one)

Several colleagues were huddled near my workstation, and as I approached, one called out and stated, "Hey Mak, you no longer seem sad."

I looked at them inquisitively and wondered where this was leading to.

"You've been smiling to yourself," she said.

"Huh? When?"

"You've been wearing one all day," she replied.

"Yeah, it's more obvious when you're tinkering with your phone," another person added.

"Di naman," I said as I chuckled. "Bakit niyo ba ako tinitingnan? Masama bang ngumiti?"

"Hindi," they chorused.

"Pero I think something's up," Prince said grinning. But his remark fell on deaf ears as an alert sounded off.

A smile makes people curious, indeed.

the conscious choice (t minus zero)

"That's it!"

"What?"

"What you just said. That's exactly how I felt back then. You feel accomplished, and somewhat content and happy. Naturally, you would want to find someone whom you could share these things with," the confidant said over lunch. "I was in the same situation as you are, right before I met him." The confidant added, smiling.

Last week was perhaps the tipping point in what might be the worst year I have had as far as I can remember. For days, I was the nimbus. Solitary. Refusing to rain on anyone else's parade. However, this sullen and withdrawn demeanor didn't go unnoticed by several concerned people, including the confidant.

Tuesday noon, the confidant, by some fortuitous event, had me all to the confidant's self. This led to a lunch that was two hours longer than the norm. Two extra hours of being under the spotlight. I was definitely grilled as grilled can be. But as confidants are called as such, the storytelling came out easily. I spewed one tale after another. Recounting as far back as the Genesis of the matter. A year's worth of revelations, I have shared. It's too much, too soon, I know. But there are just people whom you can open up to without hesitation. It's a great fortune to find one. Anyway, the confidant shared the confidant's two cents until we both realized that we still have work to get back on.

The confidant's words didn't sink in until the morning after. Life is indeed a roller coaster. One crazy, messed-up cycle that I'd rather get on wearing a smile. Misery attracts misery. So no, thank you. I'd take my chances on being happy and who knows what, or who I might stumble on.

It's been a while. =)

like a glass

The heart will only spill what it contains, and it can only contain so much.

I have had better weeks than this. One stress-inducing office-related issue piled on top of another. Growing interpersonal rifts. Feeling like a fool. The quiet storm brewing at the home front. Suffered from alienation. Friday night mishaps. My teeth hurt like hell, and my ego bruised. 2012.

The one person whom I would normally run and rant to at times like this is gone. For the moment. So here I am, carrying all these weight on my own.

Then Archie played Laura Pausini's "I Need Love", and before the opening verse ended, I found myself breaking down. For the first time in a very, very long time, I cried.

I have had better weeks than this

*******

The kind that makes you feel too much.
- Laura Pausini, I Need Love

sick cycle

There's no place left to go.

*******

Because silence solves everything
We might as well pretend that
Nothing's
Broken.

love?

I want to know.

*******

Overlook. Overlooked.

a love phenomenon no one could explain

RUSSIAN ROULETTE
Rihanna
Rated R

... take a gun, and count to three...

Rihanna, just no.

YESTERDAY
Toni Braxton
Pulse

... you are so yesterday. I won't let you rain on my parade. Don't wanna hear a thing you say...

Ballads should be left to those who can actually sing. Like American R&B performer Toni Braxton whose biggest hit to date is the extremely poignant 1996 mega smash, "Un-break My Heart". However, subsequent releases proved to be commercial failures for the contralto singer until "Yesterday", the first single taken from her upcoming studio album, "Pulse". The song is a clever amalgamation of excellent production remarkably similar to contemporary hits penned and produced by Ryan Tedder (Kelly Clarkson's "Already Gone", Beyonce's "Halo", Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield"), and return-to-form powerhouse vocals from Braxton; something that the audience have not heard since her work back in the 90s. Given the proper radio support, "Yesterday" may just be the song the diva needs to put her back on top of the charts.

H.A.T.E.U.
Mariah Carey
Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel

... then you sat alone in pride and I sat at home and cried. How'd our fairytale just end up this way...

While most songs on air nowadays seem to be a rip-off of some other track, Mariah Carey offers to radio a different kind of love song. Fresh, distinct and highly original, "H.A.T.E.U." will definitely stand and knock out the rest of the ambiguity in today's music. Short for "Having A Typical Emotional Upset", the third single from the critically-acclaimed "Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel" finds Carey contemplating on love lost through a series of nicely written verses, making use of her full range, even singing the recurring melody in her whistle register. The songbird's voice has always been extremely pleasurable to listen to so when it is intricately layered over soothing and rhythmic beats, the end product is always dreamy, magical, and almost ethereal. As with the case of most songs on Carey's catalog, "H.A.T.E.U." weaves a string that pulls the heart in all the right places. More so for the heartbroken. "H.A.T.E.U." is a classic that needs to happen. It will be a damn shame if the world doesn't hear its greatness.

dead uprising, pt. II

"The resurrected dead lay siege to the X-Men's headquarters, and the fight to survive the Black Queen's vengeance begins. But while Warpath and Wolverine realize what's happening, they may be too late to stop it. Because Selene is already well on her way to achieving ultimate power half a world away. And as the rest of the X-Men fight mutants back from the dead, Wolfsbane struggles to survive a very different threat."

MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS "X-FORCE: NECROSHA"
WRITTEN BY CHRISTOPHER YOST CRAIG KYLE
ART BY CLATYON CRAIN

NOVEMBER 2009

*******

Holy shit! I think I just died and went to fanboy heaven.
View the image to see the full awesomeness.

chasing rainbows

If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain.

*******

Riding shotgun. Post-Summer Baguio.

imperfectly happy (being alone)

My cousin from my father's side of the family celebrated her 27th birthday with a grand get together yesterday. I was, of course, invited. No. My presence was highly demanded. My folks, a week prior to the event, put it this way, "You better get your ass in there, or else". Being a good son that I am, I took a chance with the or else.

Don't get me wrong though. I would have loved to see my aunts and uncles, greet my cousin, mingle with my other relatives, and join the merriment. We rarely see each other so it's an opportune time to catch up, and show off.

However, a bigger part of me was craving for an alone time. I'm not antisocial. It's just one of those days when I would rather run errands, shop, dine or watch a movie by myself. I tell myself that I find solace in solitude. And in this time, when the demand for comfort exceeds what is supplied, I will opt for the one which I believe will be more fruitful.

But I can be wrong.

Just like how I chose to spend yesterday. I was at the gym two hours past noon and stayed there until about five in the afternoon. I tried to make amends for the workout days that I've missed. After which, I walked about the mall, drinking milk from a tetra pack, and when I got tired, I skipped along to the mall closest to my place. I wanted to watch a movie but Astroboy's next screening won't be until eight in the evening. It was six. I had two hours to spare. Coffee was tempting but I was strong enough to resist. So I hailed a cab and traveled to the outskirts of Makati's Upper East Side. The traffic along Makati Avenue was heavy so by the time I got to the place, the vendors were already packing up their stuff. Slightly disheartened, I went all the way back to the cinema, purchased a ticket, chose the last free seat on a three-seat row, awkwardly sat beside a couple during the entire film, all the while thinking of a moniker I recently chanced upon.

Astroboyisgay. Astroboyisgay. Astroboyisgay.

But he isn't, right? Oh well.

After the movie, I went home to an empty house. Prepared dinner. Watched PBB. Gushed like Carol. Then tried to get some sleep considering the circumstances. Halloween. Spirits. I'm alone, with my Boo. It sucks, I know. Fortunately, I did fall asleep very soundly.

It may seem like a non-event but it was a good quality time with myself. I got to think about a lot of things, including the realization that the whole day would have been a lot better if I had someone to spend it with. The thought kept on bugging me, and like the mantra that is Astroboyisgay, it just won't quit. So yeah, maybe I should have gone to the party instead.