the conscious choice (t minus zero)

"That's it!"

"What?"

"What you just said. That's exactly how I felt back then. You feel accomplished, and somewhat content and happy. Naturally, you would want to find someone whom you could share these things with," the confidant said over lunch. "I was in the same situation as you are, right before I met him." The confidant added, smiling.

Last week was perhaps the tipping point in what might be the worst year I have had as far as I can remember. For days, I was the nimbus. Solitary. Refusing to rain on anyone else's parade. However, this sullen and withdrawn demeanor didn't go unnoticed by several concerned people, including the confidant.

Tuesday noon, the confidant, by some fortuitous event, had me all to the confidant's self. This led to a lunch that was two hours longer than the norm. Two extra hours of being under the spotlight. I was definitely grilled as grilled can be. But as confidants are called as such, the storytelling came out easily. I spewed one tale after another. Recounting as far back as the Genesis of the matter. A year's worth of revelations, I have shared. It's too much, too soon, I know. But there are just people whom you can open up to without hesitation. It's a great fortune to find one. Anyway, the confidant shared the confidant's two cents until we both realized that we still have work to get back on.

The confidant's words didn't sink in until the morning after. Life is indeed a roller coaster. One crazy, messed-up cycle that I'd rather get on wearing a smile. Misery attracts misery. So no, thank you. I'd take my chances on being happy and who knows what, or who I might stumble on.

It's been a while. =)