Thursday, January 31, 2008

divided we stand


*******

Reeling from the events of Messiah CompleX, the surviving mutants reassess Xavier’s dream amidst the rubble of the mansion. Betrayed by one of their own, and mourning the loss of former allies, is peaceful coexistence still an option? The only thing that’s certain is an uncertain future for mutantkind. Is anyone safe in a world without X-Men?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

here i am, read my mind

Lana Lang: If you really like someone, you accept every part of them. But you can't do that until they're willing to share every part with you.
Clark Kent: Maybe he keeps a part of him hidden so it doesn't scare people away.
Lana Lang: If you want to get close to someone, you have to take that risk.
Clark Kent: What if the risk is too big to take?
Lana Lang: Then you might miss out on something that could be pretty amazing.
- Smallville


*******

I know that you're not Superman but you're close enough.

And I wish that I'm the one you'll fly to if you ever feel the need to be loved.

*******

POSTSCRIPT. Ang corny pala! :)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

itunes (god, i'm so bored)

Total number of tracks in iTunes: 6,848

Sort by song title
First song: The Aaliyah Song | Boyz II Men
Last song: 80's Joint | Kelis

Sort by time
Shortest track: PCD - The Pussycat Dolls (0:06)
Longest song: Spy | The Moffatts (24:43)

Sort by artist
First: Mamma Mia | A*Teens
Last: True To Your Heart | 98 Degrees feat. Stevie Wonder

Sort by album
First: No More | A1 [The A List]
Last: True To Your Heart | 98 Degrees feat. Stevie Wonder

Ten most played songs
10. Wow | Kylie Minogue [32]
09. Don't Stop The Music | Rihanna [33]
08. Baby Love [Remix] | Nicole Scherzinger feat. Will.I.Am [35]
07. What Hurts The Most [Yanou's Candlelight Mix] | Cascada [38]
06. No Air | Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown [39]
05. We Belong Together | Mariah Carey [49]
04. Piece Of Me | Britney Spears [52]
03. Angel | Leona Lewis [53]
02. Feedback | Janet Jackson [57]
01. Bleeding Love | Leona Lewis [65]

First five songs that come up on party shuffle
01. Creole [Radio Edit] | Beyonce
02. Somewhere Over The Rainbow | Kylie Minogue
03. Blessed | Christina Aguilera
04. Lollipop | Mika
05. It Must Have Been Love | Journey South

Number of search returns for
Sex: 47
Love: 748
You: 1,441
Death: 1
Hate: 36
Wish: 26
Live: 510
Music: 104
Cry: 39
Smile: 25

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

x-men: messiah complex, pt. V

On the day of its birth, the new mutant baby was kidnapped. Cyclops, the leader of the X-Men, dispatched a team to the Antarctic to ambush Mr. Sinister, one of the prime suspects, and his henchmen, the Marauders. At the same time, Cyclops charged Rictor to infiltrate the Purifiers, an organization of mutant-hating zealots also suspected in the disappearance. Unbeknownst to Cyclops, the frustrated New X-Men, young students of the Xavier Institute, attacked the Purifiers at the same time.

Rictor learned the Purifiers did not have the baby, but the good news ended there. Moments later the Reavers, genetically modified mercenaries led by Lady Deathstrike, attacked the New X-Men and gravely wounded Hellion. Meanwhile Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, lies in a coma after sending two of his duplicates into separate futures in search of clues to the mutant baby’s history. Layla Miller stowed away on the trip, with no hope of return.
- Chapter Four, X-Men: Messiah CompleX


*******

New York, 80 years from now, Layla Miller and Jamie Madrox stare at the mutant internment camp devising a plan on how they could get in.

Back at the present, led by Storm, the X-Men field team charged head-on at Mr. Sinister’s base demanding for the baby and Rogue. Seemingly outnumbered by the villainous Marauders and Acolytes, the five X-Men stood their ground until Mr. Sinister found out that the astral form of Emma Frost was with the team using her own telepathy to completely shield her teammates from Sinister and Exodus mind reading.

Back at the Xavier Institute, Cyclops is telling Bishop that he should have responded earlier if he wanted to join the assault team. The latter said that he was doing his own investigations in the mutant underworld. Emma is shown in the room concentrating on blocking the five X-Men in Antarctica from telepathic attacks.

The battle began as Storm used Harpoon’s weapon and channeled lightning to take out Vertigo and Scrambler, both of whom she assessed to be the tactical dangers among their enemies. Nightcrawler took this opportunity to teleport Exodus, perhaps the most dangerous of all, out of the area and into the Sor Rondane Mountains. Colossus is simultaneously throwing punches at Arclight, Frenzy, Omega Sentinel (possessed by Malice), and Unuscione. And Wolverine used broke Scalphunter’s arm and used the latter’s gun to knock out Random and Tempo.

As Sinister recovers from Emma’s psychic attack, Angel confronted him and asked for the child. The scientist did not give in and said that there will be casualties before this is over. Gambit could be seen escaping from the battle but Wolverine caught up with him.

St. Peter’s Church, Washington DC. Another battle ensues as the Reavers, led by Lady Deathstrike took on the New X-Men. Pixie began to panic but Rictor said that if she did not teleport them, her friends would die. She tried to concentrate as she cast the spell. But it was a blind teleport sending the students into different locations between the mansion and Washington, DC.

Emma Frost was distracted by Pixie’s scream alerting the older X-Men of the situation at the Purifiers’ base. This however turned out for worst as Emma could no longer contact the assault team as Sinister has locked her out.

Wolverine repeatedly stabbed the Cajun until the latter gave him the answers on the baby’s location.

Mr. Sinister had fully recovered and assaulted Angel with a psionic blast before heading to Colossus and paralyzing him. Storm realized that they will be defeated at this rate and commanded Nightcrawler to find Wolverine and she will cover the team’s retreat.

Armed with the knowledge he squeezed out from Gambit, Wolverine was heading back when he saw Omega Sentinel throwing an unconscious Angel towards him from above. Instinctively, he caught his supposed teammate only to find out that it was only an illusion by Lady Mastermind and that it was actually Scrambler. Before Wolverine could react, Omega Sentinel blasted him. This has severely injured him as Scrambler’s power has turned his healing factor off. Fortunately, Nighcrawler teleported in and knocked out both the possessed X-Man and Lady Mastermind before both could do more damage to Wolverine. Logan told his teammate that the baby is not with the Marauders. Unbeknownst to them, Scalphunter was already aiming for Nightcrawler’s head but missed it, hitting the X-Man on his right chest. Still, the two managed to teleport out of the scene. Wolverine immediately called for Emma telling her that an X-Man has the baby.

This new information had the X-Men debating at the Institute. As they went on with the discussion, a sentinel surprised the mutants as it punched through the roof of the mansion all the while stating a change in its programming –to destroy the X-Men.

In the Canadian wilderness, the supposedly dead Cable was seen running with the baby in his arms.

*******

Carey never fails to deliver an awesome issue. And with how things were left in the last issue of Messiah CompleX, X-Men #205, as expected, managed to give us the most awesome kick-ass moments (so far) of the crossover. The issue is heavy on the action but manages to intertwine real plot development – the return of Bishop to the fold, Wolverine interrogating Gambit and the big reveal at the end.

Three separate epic battles have been presented equally – the X-Men strike force vs. Maruders/Acolytes (round two), the New X-Men versus the Purifiers/Reavers and the X-Men vs. the Sentinels. Each team has been given an equal billing so far considering the massive number of characters involved.

And this reminded me why Storm is such a major player in the X-Universe:

Sinister: “X-Men, your destruction had fallen quite low on my list of priorities. By coming here, you run the risk of making me reconsider.”
Storm: “You do not intimidate us, Sinister. And you won’t deter us.”
Sinister: “No? Look around you, Storm. You face an army – many of whom could kill your entire team single-handed. How do the five of you expect to prevail?”
Angel: “Why don’t you read our minds, and see for yourself?”
Sinister: “…”
Storm: “You miscounted, monster! There are six of us!”

The real twist however was presented in the last few pages of the comic book in which Cable was shown holding the baby. We all thought he was dead, but then again he’s a Summers-Grey so he has a thing for resurrections.

Sadly, Bachalo’s artwork is still messy but I can still live with it.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

lalala lala lala (jealous)

"Mahal na mahal ko si Daine! :) Ahahaha. Wala lang. Just felt like I needed to shout it out. Pasensya na at ikaw yung nasigawan ko."

*******

Kyana: Don't do it.
MakMak: Shut up.
Kyana: You'll regret...
MakMak: *Sending message... [to Daine]*
Kyana: ...it. Hay... You're setting yourself up for another disappointment. Hindi ka na natuto.
MakMak: Trust me on this. Besides, I think hindi na ako ganung ka-apektado sa indifference niya. Sabi nga ng friend ko, wala lang...
Kyana: ... talaga ang sweet sa bokabularyo ni Daine. Bahala ka.
MakMak: *Sending message... [to Brandon]*
Kyana: Ang pathetic mo talaga!
MakMak: Shush!

*******

"Oops... Sorry, wrong send. Mwah! Tulog na talaga ako. Good night."

*******

MakMak: *Sending Message... [to Daine]*
Kyana: Uy, online siya.
MakMak: Teka...

*******

MakMak: Hey, online ka?!
Kyana: Tanong mo kung bakit gabi na at online pa siya. Tapos bakit nag-invisible siya.
MakMak: Invisible rin ako. Wag kang magulo.

Daine: Check lang ako ng mail.
Daine: Matulog na din ako in a while.
Daine: Masakit na din mata ko.
MakMak: Ok.
Daine: O sige, out na ako.
Daine: Night.
Daine: Good night!
MakMak: Ok.

Kyana: Hmmm...
MakMak: Stop.

*******

Brandon: Hahaha! Nakakatuwa naman yung message mo.
MakMak: Hey Brandon! Sa office ka na? Musta? :) Pasensya na hyper ata kaibigan mo eh. Hahaha.
Brandon: Sa office na ako. Uy, mukhang ang saya-saya mo ngayon ah! Ano nangyari ha?! ;)
MakMak: Ala naman. Gusto ko lang me mapagsabihan nun.
Kyana: Aminin...
MakMak: Tsaka dahil na rin sa selos.
Brandon: Oh? Kanino? Sa classmate niya?
MakMak: Dun sa bago niyang friend sa Friendster. Nilagay niya sa featured friends niya eh. :(
Kyana: Si Featured Friend sa Friendster, straight daw naman... if I know nakilala niya yun sa tambayan niyang channel sa IRC. Hihihi.
Brandon: Sus. Eh bakit ka nagseselos?
Kyana: Oo nga. Bakit?
MakMak: Ewan. Insecure lang siguro ako.
Brandon: Insecure?
MakMak: Wala kasi akong maibibigay except yung pagiging seryoso ko sa kanya. Hindi naman ako gwapo and all.
Kyana: Eh hindi din naman kagwapuhan si Featured Friend eh.
Brandon: Hello?! Ano tawag mo dun sa mga effort na ginawa mo?
Kyana: Hello?! Eh hindi nga marunong magpakita ng appreciation un eh.
MakMak: Eh basta, nagseselos ako.
MakMak: :(

*******

Brandon: Hey sorry. Antok na antok ako kaya nakatulog ako sa office. Wag mong isipin yun. Basta keep on being in-love. May edge ka sa kanila. :)
Kyana: Ano yun, edad?
MakMak: *Still sound asleep*

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

tumble this

I thought that I would never ever have you.

I have prayed, practically begged for this moment.

He listened and gave in.

Those grueling hours that I have spent, the effort and the opportunities that I have missed - it's all worth it now that I lay my claim on you.


But see,

I'm done with you and now I'll have to look for a new one.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

heart talk

Earlier, a friend sent me a message saying that he wishes to have several hearts. Five to be exact.

I offered mine but he said that he doesn't want an overstressed heart. Followed by his usual smiley, :-). I think.

Anyway, ouch. But point taken.

It made me wonder though why I got stuck with this "overstressed" heart. Or with just "one" heart for that matter.

I hate my heart right now. I hate it so much that I didn't hesitate when I told my friend that it's his to take (literally).

I hate how it is so emotional and sensible for its own sake. One can always tell what it feels because it's so transparent.

I hate how it is so naive. And I hate, hate, hate that it is so trustful.

I hate how it is so hopeful even if it gets crushed and bled out, again and again.

I hate how it cries when it thinks that nobody's looking. Or how it calls for help and yet it is ignored.

I hate how vulnerable it has become.

I hate that it is so pathetic and dependent and how it never learns from previous fallings and how it never gets tired of dealing with all these crap.

Who needs a good heart when good doesn't count for anything these days?

Right now, I really hate my heart.

*******

After finalizing this, I realized that it's not the one to be blamed.

x-men: messiah complex, pt. IV

The mutant baby is missing, and the X-Men know that both the Marauders and the Purifiers were at the site of its disappearance. Willing to recover the child at any cost, Cyclops dispatches a team of X-Men to track down the Marauders and their leader, Mr. Sinister.

Meanwhile, Cyclops also deployed the de-powered X-Man Rictor to gather intelligence on the mutant-hating Purifiers, who seek to kill the baby because they fear it is the Antichrist. A few months ago, the Purifiers killed many students at the Xavier Institute. Cyclops did not inform the remaining students of the Purifiers' involvement.

Lastly, Jamie Madrox, a.k.a. Multiple Man, went to see the mutant-inventor Forge. As part of Cyclops' plan, two expendable duplicates of Jamie were went into two different futures to gather intel with no possibility of return. Cyclops didn't plan for Jamie's teammate Layla Miller to tag along.

The one piece of the puzzle that Cyclops doesn't know about is that the mutant-eating monster Predator X is aware of the baby's existence. And it's hungry...
- Chapter Three, X-Men: Messiah CompleX


*******

The Canadian Rockies. 34 Kilometers from the nearest town, a native set up a bonfire using his mutant ability to breathe fire. Not long after, Predator X jumped in on the poor victim and feasted on him.

At the X-Mansion, Surge has found out that the Purifiers were involved in Alaska and she was furious at Cyclops for not telling them. Prodigy defended the X-Man saying that he might have a reason why it wasn't mentioned to them. He also advised Surge not to do anything stupid. Professor Xavier walks in on them agreeing with Prodigy. He offered to train the students, to take a different approach on the matter but Surge rejected him outright stating that he wasn't there when the students were getting killed, and that he can't teach them anything else because they already know how to die.

Meanwhile, Cyclops is asking Forge on updates on Multiple Man's mission. He commanded that the timeline be monitored no matter what happens. The mutant-inventor raised his concern for Madrox Prime who is still unconscious at the moment. Cyclops said that this was a risk they're taking as they are fighting for their existence.

After walking out on Professor Xavier, Surge assembled her team to tell them of her decision to go after the Purifiers. Hellion, Mercury and Rockslide agreed without any hesitation. Anole and Pixie joined in for the sole purpose of rescuing the baby. Dust, Prodigy and Elixir declined for personal reasons. And lastly, Armor shows up asking if there's still room for her.

Washington, D.C.. Rictor was being given a tour of the church and as they passed by an assembly hall, he overheard the spokesperson introducing the latest allies of the mutant-hating group. Curious, he took a peek and was shocked to see Lady Deathstrike and the Reavers joining the spokesperson on stage.

New York City. 80 years from the present. Madrox's duplicate and Layla Miller traverse the future to find out what's in store for the mutantkind. The two wondered why they haven't encountered any mutant so far, not even anyone talking about mutants. They headed to the library hoping to find more information. And as they looked upon the materials, they found out where all the mutants were kept - in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, New York City. They were put in a mutant relocation camp.

Washington, D.C.. The New X-Men made their way to the headquarters of the Purifiers and started to take down the soldiers guarding the outside perimeter.

Back at the mansion, Dust was worrying for her teammates and started to regret her decision to stay. Prodigy suggested that they inform Cyclops of Surge's plan. Elixir, reassured both of them that Surge has gotten them through so much already and that she won't let anything bad happen to their friends.

Antarctica. Mr. Sinister and the rest of the Marauders and Acolytes prepare to leave the base but Storm, with the rest of the X-Men strike force came in demanding for Rogue and the baby.

Anole used his ability to camouflage to gain access to the Purifiers' computer room. He got in but found out that the baby wasn't with the mutant-hating group. Rictor sneaked into the room and informed the kid that the New X-Men shouldn't have come as they will be in grave danger.

Inside the church, the battle between the soldiers and the New X-Men progresses. Hellion confronted the self-proclaimed successor to Stryker, Matthew Risman but he was ambushed by Lady Deathstrike, mortally wounding him before anyone else could react.

*******

This issue promises something great will happen on the next release.

I feel bad for Xavier. It was bad enough that Cyclops has put him on the sidelines but having Surge tell him off was worst. Well, he did deserve some of it.

And speaking of feeling bad, I pity the fire-breathing guy in Canada. His first-ever cameo in the X-verse only to be eaten by that dreaded Predator X. At least he got a full spread in the comicbook.

I love how Surge was in command of her team. It feels like Emma Frost was right in choosing her as the leader of the New X-Men. And Armor joining the team (I hope permanently) was good.

The battle between the Purifiers and the New X-Men was long overdue. And with that last panel (showing Lady Deathtrike's fingers jabbed through Hellion's chest) and the X-Men strike force confronting the Marauders/Acolytes, the next issue promises to be bloody (fantastic).

Friday, January 11, 2008

on air: 2007 year in music, pt. III

SO SMALL
Carrie Underwood

I honestly thought that this song refers to something else - something that I couldn't imagine Underwood singing.




NOLITA FAIRYTALE
Vanessa Carlton

This should be helpful in proving that Carlton should not be underrated.





WITH LOVE
Hilary Duff

Two words: Kylie lite!





MAKES ME WONDER
Maroon 5

After a brief hiatus, Maroon 5 makes a comeback with a disco-tinged song which reminds me of Michael Jackson.




JUST SO YOU KNOW
Jesse McCartney

This would have been named my top song of the year if not for objectivity. One of the most beautiful breakup pieces I have heard ever.




REHAB (REMIX)
Amy Winehouse feat. Jay-Z

Jay-Z lent his magic on the song. Not that Winehouse's version isn't already a good, soulful track to begin with.




WASTED
Carrie Underwood

Underwood moves people with her songs. Even if it's all about cheating boyfriends, or getting wasted.




WAIT FOR YOU
Elliott Yamin

Admittedly, this is no different from the other generic tracks produced by the recently renowned producers Stargate but with Yamin on the mic "Wait For You" becomes more worthy of the accolades it should not be getting.


BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY
Fergie

One of the more decent songs in Fergie's album. She sounds perfectly convincing, with her vocals up front while the production is toned down.




EXTRAORDINARY
Mandy Moore

Moore's effort to tread the folk-pop genre was her best decision, musically speaking, to date. Her voice meshes well with the organic instrumentation. And compared to her Candy days, the quality of her songs is now stellar.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

on air: 2007 year in music, pt. II

LET'S DANCE
Vanessa Hudgens

A definitive dance floor tune. No credit should be given to Hudgens though. Her vocals on the song are as dispensable as always.




NOTHING THAT YOU ARE
Mandy Moore

Moore channels her inner Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne as she delivers this anthem to cheating boyfriends albeit in a more graceful and girl-y manner. She is, after all, Mandy.



ANYTHING
JoJo

"Africa" on Anything is just simply amazing.





POTENTIAL BREAKUP SONG
Aly & AJ

I would have dismissed this faux alternative pop by these Disney girls as a lame attempt to make a dent in the industry charts but the catchy melody and the clever lyrics makes it worth considering as a half-decent tune.


IF THAT'S OK WITH YOU / NO U HANG UP
Shayne Ward

Ward awkwardly delivers this fine piece of bubblegum pop as his first single off his sophomore effort. Warning though, it contains more cheesy lines than any song I have heard in the recent music history.



CAROLYNA
Melanie C

The feel-good track of the year. Love to Melanie C!





NOTHIN' BETTER TO DO (REMIX)
LeAnn Rimes

Country, no matter how campy, sounds really good when properly delivered. And Rimes' latest effort is the best I have heard so far. And the video is just whoa!



GIRLFRIEND
Avril Lavigne

This is so last year but Lavigne did make a nearly-perfect pop tune, that is if she didn't really plagiarize this.




SAY OK (RADIO EDIT)
Vanessa Hudgens

Sweet, sappy song. And Zac Efron's on the video too!





BEAUTIFUL GIRLS
JoJo

This is way classier and radio-friendly than that huge guy's version.





TO BE CONTINUED.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

on air: 2007 year in music, pt. I

Every year, for the last seven years I started to make a yearend list of the songs that got played the most on my pc (or stereo). Thanks to iTunes, the process became easier because of the play count information (the Windows Media Player also has that function but I seldom use WMP because its library sucks).

2007 is not as exciting as the previous years. Notable events (in the mainstream music) include Jordin Sparks winning the sixth season of American Idol (it's the third consecutive year that my bet has won the title, not that anyone cares), Britney's mention-worthy performance at the MTV Video Music Awards and the release of her highly-anticipated comeback album, the Spice Girls' reunion (yipee... come on, they did make good, real pop music), Justin Timberlake, Fergie and Carrie Underwood's continuous reign at the top of various charts, Avril's pink highlights (poser!), Leona Lewis (man, she is definitely the next best thing!) and of course, the gazillion versions of Umbrella. Ella. Ella. Ella.

Eh. Eh. Eh.

(Darn hook.)

Anyway, off to the list. I came up with a hundred songs but I'll just post the top thirty. I generally prefer pop so I believe there won't be any alternative/rock type of songs on the first thirty songs. I really don't monitor the genre of the song that I listen to. As long as it sounds good, it will be played over and over again.

(It feels like I have bared my soul to everyone after I publish these series of posts.)

*******

30. ADDICTED TO YOU / Anthony Callea
Sounds good. Looks good. Dresses impeccably. Stylish hair (before). Of course he is gay! Anyway, love the song. And the video as well.

29. CANDYMAN / Christina Aguilera
This song suffers from too much horns and too much of Aguilera's caterwauling. It's so campy that it's good.

28. OVER IT / Katharine McPhee
I never liked Katharine McPhee (that's the only reason I rooted for Taylor Hicks).

27. I LOST YOU/DANGEROUS / Katharine McPhee
But this list includes a couple of her not-so-great-but-they're-okay songs.

26. THE WAY I ARE / Timbaland feat. DOE, Keri Hilson and Sebastian
Keri Hilson rocks! That's it.

25. GIMME MORE / Britney Spears
It's Britney, bitch! Oh yeah!

24. UMBRELLA / Rihanna feat. Jay-Z
I'm sorry but I really find this song ridiculous (yes, especially the title). Admittedly, it is perhaps the catchiest song of the year.

23. REAL GIRL / Mutya Buena
Sampling Lenny Kravitz's "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over" - fantastic. Leaving Sugababes - not so.

22. LOVE STORY / Katharine McPhee
Ooh. There she goes again. But, I have to say that she looks hot in this video. Move over Beyonce!

21. UMBRELLA / Mandy Moore
Just when we thought that we had enough versions (more than what we need to hear), Moore decided to make it her own - transforming the pop tune into the folk-acoustic gem which, in my opinion, is far better than the original.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

snowdrifts

We sat on the front porch steps
As random snowflakes drifted
Along a path of aimless white dots,
Landing softly before turning
Into tiny puddles.

And with an interlude of sweet talks
And silent longings, we remained
Unperturbed
From the moment's stillness.

I refused to listen,
For not even the slightest hush
Nor the very sound of your voice,
Could find the right words
That my heart yearns for.

The moon and the stars finally gave up on us
And took their turn
To rest
In blue.

You stood.
Still oblivious,
To the bitter chill of winter,
That embraced me
As you walked away.

I am left
On the porch
Alone.
As I watched new patches of snow
Halfheartedly fall from the darkness above.

I started to regret my pretenses a moment ago,
For it is when you were near me,
Yet I could not touch you,
That I missed you the most.

if you think you're lonely now... (bobby womack's on the radio), pt. III

For the entire night (and up until dawn), he kept on waking up to check the time. On his mobile phone. This was his excuse to know whether he received any new messages from the same person whom he ignored earlier.

He did this until his phone gave up and ran out of battery.

It was seven in the morning when he fully woke up. He hooked the unit into a charger before joining his family for breakfast. He opted to eat in the living room to avoid them questioning as to why he looks like a mess.

After breakfast, he tried to busy himself by organizing his files on his laptop. But his effort was futile as he found himself turning on his mobile and texting his friend after a few hours.

There was no reply. Not even a good morning. How come there was no message for him. Today was their day. What now?

He sent a longer message telling him that he is still mad at him for what happened yesterday. But he just can't stand not talking to him even for just a day.

A few minutes after he got a reply saying that it was better if they would not talk or go out for the day and just let things cool off.

Looking back, this was something he would pray for. During those nights when he'd come home brokenhearted, he would ask for a sign - a way out, a way to kill the feeling without feeling the guilt of letting a hypothetical future pass.

And now he got it and then some.

I bet he'd take those words back just to see him once again.

if you think you're lonely now... (bobby womack's on the radio), pt. II

"Ayaw ko lang na makita ni eX na may kasama akong iba."

These words kept on ringing repeatedly on his head. He mustered all his will to stop himself from shedding a tear on his way home. Good thing that he was sitting on the passenger's seat of the FX. He could just blame the blast of wind coming from the air-conditioning vent (which directly hits his face) for his teary eyes. He also became a bit conscious of how he would say "para" as he knows that the sob in his voice would give away his state.

Arriving at his place after an hour of torment, he headed straight to the bathroom and let the cold water from the shower soothe him.

Thoughts ran into his vivid mind. Things he'd rather not think about at the moment. Things that would only make him feel worse.

After drying himself, he went to his bedroom and put on a movie on the DVD player but found himself staring blankly at the screen after ten minutes. So he just hopped into his bed and covered himself from head to foot with his comforter.

Half-expecting for a message, he kept on glancing at his mobile only to find that there's none. For several times he did this and for several times he thought of throwing his phone to the wall. It was a bad idea. Good thing he's still cognitive.

He found temporary refuge from two of his friends. Fleeting solace, but he'd take what he can get. At that moment, he'd rather talk with anyone but his friend.

Quarter to ten when he received a message. It was from him. And it says that he just got home and that he's sorry for what he said earlier - it was obviously an error in his choice of words.

It felt like his sorry came too late. And too empty. He decided not to reply back. He was still mad after all and he might say something that he might regret the morning after. He took the nearest pillow and hugged it like it was the last night on earth.

TO BE CONTINUED.

if you think you're lonely now... (bobby womack's on the radio), pt. I

"The day started out fine. I think. We exchanged good mornings, after which he informed me that he's going out with his friends after his class. I was a bit angry because we agreed that I'll be waiting for him in McDo so we can go out afterwards. But I gave in anyway. I mean, it's not like we weren't going to see each other the following day, right?"

Sadly, they did not.

As he continued to tell his story, I found out that he initially decided not to accompany him to school but at the very last minute he changed his mind and ran (yes, apparently, he did run) to catch him before he leaves the office. Fortunately, he managed to meet him. They headed to Ayala Avenue and took a bus heading to the latter's school.

It was past one when they arrived. His buddy mentioned that he'll be meeting his friends at 5 pm - two hours after his class. Casually, he suggested that he could keep him company until 5 pm, at least until his friends arrive. His friend agreed. The two said their goodbyes and he went to McDonald's, seeing as it is the most convenient place to wait for his friend. Besides, he is already hungry.

Fifteen minutes into the class, his friend sent him a message, asking for his thought on the professor's question. He quickly responded, typing in his answer, making sure that it can be clearly comprehended. Feeling proud for his good-deed-for-the-day, he went back to eating his fries and watching at the passers-by.

3 pm. He received a message from him once again asking for him to wait up as he needs to drop by the organization room. He told him to take his time.

After 40 minutes, his friend arrived. Finally, they took off to the mall where the latter will be meeting his buddies. He joined him in taking his late lunch, making small talk, keeping him entertained until the supposed 5 pm-meet. They were enjoying the moment, just like how they were pre-October, when his friend received a message saying that the group is already in the arcade area. He offered to walk him to their meeting place but his friend declined.

No big deal. He shrugged and took the escalator. But...

"Nahihiya ka bang makita na kasama ako?". This was how he felt at that time. He just couldn't hold it all in so he sent the message to his friend.

"Ayaw ko lang na makita ni eX na may kasama akong iba."

He tried to ignore the message when after a few minutes he received another one:

"Yung isa ko palang friend kasama mo sa company."

The indifference pushed him to tell his friend that the first message he sent was the most hurtful of all the things he has endured.

"Sorry, sige tatahimik na lang ako," was all that he got out of it.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

get to know me more

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

I've always been myself. It just takes a little extra effort to get to know the real me more.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

"The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior." Ahaha. Maybe.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Yep. What's the sense of fooling around when you can have that someone special with whom you can be truly happy. I mean, why waste precious time?

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Like I said earlier. It's something unexplainable, knowing if you've met the right person. And beautifully? Hmm...

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

Yeah. Fortunately, I'd be able to do that again (hopefully) soon.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

That's correct! I've always wanted to be a writer, singer, song producer, pianist, veterinarian, scientist and a whole lot more (never a doctor, or a lawyer). But right now I know that my path is in Finance. It's what I do best.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

Not really. It's just that there wasn't an opportunity when I badly needed a career change. And as for being afraid to fail, it's just a knee-jerk reaction. Failure is a part of life. We'll never learn if we don't fail.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Don't we all feel that way? I usually get what I want so obviously, uncontrollable variables are my biggest concern. Although I'm really not the type to be angry. I seldom get angry. I'm a jolly person. Hah!

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Gracie thinks I'm not mature. So strike one. Reasonable, I would like to think so. Honest, very. Gives good advices, hell yeah. I'm sensible that way. Haha. But I think I'm more of a heart person - emotions usually cloud my better judgment when I deal with my own problems.

*******

Got this from her.