lovebug: 14 days to love (day 3)

I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T LOVE YOU SO


A few minutes after he got a reply saying that it was better if they would not talk or go out for the day and just let things cool off. Looking back, this was something he would pray for. During those nights when he'd come home brokenhearted, he would ask for a sign - a way out, a way to kill the feeling without feeling the guilt of letting a hypothetical future pass. And now he got it and then some. I bet he'd take those words back just to see D once again.
- If You Think You're Lonely Now (Bobby Womack's On The Radio), Part III

*******

"We need to talk. I'm on my way to your place. Now."

It was forty past ten in the evening when he decided that he really need to see D. He grabbed his jacket and headed out. His mom asked where he was going at this hour. With much effort to hide the sadness and distress in his voice, he promised that he'll be back before midnight.

He boarded the first southbound bus he saw at Edsa. It was mostly empty save for a number of tired-looking souls who looked up as he walked towards the back end of the bus. He shrugged them off as he put on his jacket's hood and sat by the window. He couldn't help but be saddened that instead of laying down on a nice, warm bed, eyes closed and mind shut from the bothers and burdens of life's causalities, he was on the road in the middle of the night with a bunch of strangers who are most probably headed to that nirvana called sleep. But even if he chose to stay, he assumed that sleep will elude him. He'd be restless as ever with a mindset that only a closure can give him his peace back.

"Nai-inis ako sa'yo at ginawa mo 'yan. Umuwi ka na." A concerned friend told him through an SMS. But he insisted on going. He said that he want this over with.

It was already past eleven o'clock when he reached his destination.

"I'm here. Asan ka ba? Bakit hindi ka nag-rereply? I know you're not at work so there's no reason for you not to show up. I'll wait for you even if I have to stand here until dawn."

And by the pavement he stood and waited. The night sky was without its usual incandescence and there was nothing but that solitary street lamp to give him light during one of his life's darkest hours.


Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself, 'cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me but I thought I knew everything I never felt
- Mariah Carey, We Belong Together