who knew

Just the other night, I noticed a new message posted on my wall and it read: "Hey there old friend =)".

It was from SJ, my best friend back in grade school. We used to be inseparable as far as I remember.

During our First Communion post-ceremony program, the students were served pancakes by the PTA officers. While eating, I clearly recall hearing SJ's mom tell my guardian, "Nakakatuwa silang tingnan no. Sana palagi na lang silang ganyan, magkasama". I absolutely have no idea what SJ and I were doing, aside from eating pancakes, to make his mom utter those words. Pouring honey syrup with each other perhaps? I honestly don't know.

In any case, our camaraderie went on for years. We bonded over a lot of things. Before we set for home after school hours, we would hang out, together with a few more friends, and do our own version of "Are You Afraid Of The Dark?" at the gymnasium's back area. And while he excelled in sports, I had my own share of glory in the academics. As for those long summer breaks, don't ask me how we survived it but we did. His family would leave for Laguna as soon as vacation starts while I stayed in Makati. However, they never fail to be back in time for my birthday.

Then came High School. Weird, but I remember deciding to enroll there because he was also going there. Our first year marked the time when we unconsciously paved different paths for ourselves. We started to carve out our own identities for which we were both known for. SJ focused on his game. It was where he truly blossomed. And while he was busy playing with balls, I was too caught up in conquering High School.

He was S. I was B.

He partied while I studied to ensure that I remain at the top of the class. He played while I joined every socio-civic organization at school so I may appear to be a well-rounded person. He partied while I schemed with my minions when things at school don't turn out the way I want them to.

Needless to say, this difference led us to drift apart. Our friendship didn't dissolve but it's nowhere near the kind of relationship we once shared.

We graduated and bagged incomparable life achievements, and who knew that our final congratulatory messages during the ceremony would be our last words to each other. We went our separate ways as he enrolled at Brown and I ended up at Yale. And not until that message in Facebook have we truly reached out to one another this past decade.

I am proud to have had SJ as one of my best friends. And much to Tita’s disappointment that SJ and I didn't end up being best friends forever, she has to settle with the fact that we parted amicably.

People grow. People change. Sometimes circumstances lead, even the closest of friends, to take different life directions.

However, life taught me that most of the time, all it takes is that effort from both parties to keep the connection firm and strong. Lifelong friendships are hard to maintain, but finding one is so much harder.