the climb

"I'm home," I remember hollering in the hope of surprising you. It was a little past ten in the evening and you weren't really expecting me until tomorrow.

"Yey," you cheered, and I saw the smile that always lights your face; the same smile that brings one to my own lips.

"Umulan dun," I said, pouting.

"Naulanan ka?"

"Madulas ba?"

"Masaya ka naman, I hope? Sana."

"Napagod ka din siguro, no?"

You went on throwing a barrage of questions until you realized how funny it sounded. "Interrogation mode," you laughed. "Na-miss lang kita."

That of course, made me smile. After all, I was more than excited to tell you how the climb went. "I had mud all over," I said. "It was fun! Paramihan kami ng dulas."

We broke into a heartfelt laughter.

"My favorite part would be the vertical climb from the falls," I remember saying. I beamed with pride thinking that it was rather an accomplishment on my end considering how I am. "The climb taught me that I should pack light and wear the appropriate footwear. Of course, those are the practical stuff." I paused before adding, "The more important thing is nawala ang kaartehan ko dahil sa bundok na yan!"

I couldn't think of another instance when you laughed this hard, and I just stared at you, listened to your hearty laughter; I took it all in and dwelled in the warm and fuzzy feeling that it gave me.

"I'm happy to know that you enjoyed your trip." You smiled. "I remember my first time. Alam mo, something in me stirs everytime I climb. Everytime I reach that summit and behold the view."

I nodded and said, "I did what you told me when I reached the summit."

"Think of me when you reach the summit; I am with you as you climb."

Your words, put to heart.

Sadly, the heart never forgets.

"Mountain climbing teaches us to hold on, sometimes for dear life especially when you're in danger of falling." I remember you saying. "First travel, then struggle, finally calm - a mountaineer's philosophy."

"I did what you told me when I reached the summit."

So why am I still struggling?

Why?

*******

I remember those simple things. I remember 'til I cry. But the one thing I wish I'd forget, the memory I want to forget is goodbye.
- Miley Cyrus, Goodbye