that guy

Oh, how the blues come in when the rain starts pouring. It's already four past five and I still can't sleep.

The mind keeps on drifting to thoughts of him. Like how how he used to walk with a distinct kind of cool, a certainty that only the likes of him could pull off effortlessly. Or how he used to be funny, hilarious even; he never fails to make everyone laugh. I remember how he's never boring while he talked about everything and nothing. Everyone listened intently; I did. Though he was a good listener as well. He will impress with you with minute details you wouldn't ordinarily think, but secretly wish, he'd take into heart. But it was smile that caught my eye. It was warm, radiant and contagious; the kind that makes people feel strong and invincible. It made me feel like anything is possible, even love; like we can be alone and not be lonely.

If only he'd notice that he is terribly missed. If only he'd notice what everyone else does; if he'd see what's inside, then maybe, just maybe, he won't be as fragmented and lost. And perhaps, he'd even end up coming back to me; and then maybe I could go back to sleeping.

The things that keep me awake at night.

*******

What if I loved you?
- Mandy Moore, Everblue