my life is a pop song: so small

Last Friday's mass took a little longer so it was already past one when we arrived at Glorietta for lunch. As soon as we were done eating, I excused myself so I can buy my present for that afternoon's gift-giving while they wait at the cab lane.

After deciding to buy the plush doll of Dora, something that aptly describes my baby, I joined my colleagues outside. As the queue was quite long, we have had a lenghty conversation which mostly revolved around happiness.

"We shouldn't put our happiness on people because at one point in time, they will let us down." Larra shared the striking statement which she lifted from a book. Per usual, the discussion evolved to a deeper analysis of the case until it curved back to a more lighthearted topic that involves people's faces - how some are just easy and pleasant to look at, while others project a burdened or stressed out state even if they aren't.

The subject of faces and happiness gave them an opening to remind me - "We were trying not to laugh because you were failing in your attempt to look serious," Larra said.

"Yeah, that one part when you actually laughed gave it all away," the other one said.

"I did not laugh! I smiled," I explained in self-defense. The said incident happened after the Communion. I was reciting the Novena Prayer when I suddenly found myself at a loss for a second which led to my wrong enunciation of a word. While Larra reassured that it was unnoticeable, I was still embarassed.

You see, Archie started my day playing Carrie Underwood's So Small and I remember taking to mind how the song remains to function as my upper. Its words not only dispel my doubts and troubles but more importantly, it reaffirms that at the end of the day, all we need is faith.

By noon, I was asked to be the commentator for the First Friday mass once again. By some weird machination of the universe, the Gospel read by the priest was that of the two blind men that Jesus healed. A line from the reading struck me. It says, "According to your faith, be it done to you." At that moment, it felt like I was being addressed personally. Those words were a reassuring pat on the back. A comforting hug. An affirmation that it will happen as long as I trust and believe.

After the Communion, it all came to me - my thoughts earlier about So Small, and the Gospel reading - how the two underscore one and the same subject, on the same day. This has got to be anything but a random concurrence of events. If there's one thing I still believe in, it is that there is no such thing as a coincidence, and everything happens for a reason.

Completely forgetting that I was in front of a congregation, in the middle of a prayer, I smiled. I smiled like I just got a message from someone special. I smiled like I just unwrapped the best gift ever. I smiled because I know I'm bound to find good. I know because I believe.


And what you've been out there searching for forever is in your hands.