the june bride's guest

"Ang suwerte ng kaibigan mo." My mom said as she helped me with my suit. With reluctance, I went and tried on the outfit that I'll be wearing for my friend's wedding.

"It is considered bad luck to wear it before the wedding," I strongly stated.

"Hindi ikaw ang ikakasal." Half-a-dozen people reminded me. Whatever.

"Dahil ikakasal na siya?" I asked her back wondering where this was headed.

"Kung makapaghanda ka sa kasal niya, sobra sobra." She said as she turned her head towards the mirror. She looked at her son all suited up. My mom smiled.

I am guilty as charged. I did over prepare for my friend's wedding. The moment she officially mentioned it, I ran a list of to-dos in my head like the ensemble I will be wearing, the number of pounds I needed to lose, the timing of my haircut and peeling appointments, even down to the color of rubber I'll be using for my dental braces. I even attempted to learn how to drive so I won't have to take a cab going to the venue. That didn't work out well.

Two days before the wedding, I went to have my scheduled facial. Everything was fine until the ex-employee who did the treatment accidentally got cleansing lotion in my eye.

"Okay lang po." I said as she wiped it off with tissue before proceeding with the facial. I wouldn't know how adverse the impact of that simple incident until later that evening when I felt a stinging sensation in the affected eye. I discounted it as fatigue and went to sleep.

Sunday, it got worse. Monday morning was no better. I was so frustrated. I wanted to blame something. I wanted to punch something, I swear.

"Suot mo nalang yung eye glasses mo." My mom suggested.

"But I don't look good with eye glasses!" I whined. "Papanget ako sa pictures!"

I hurried along to the gym hoping that a work out would somehow calm my nerves. I went home immediately after. It was a long slow ride. I stared at the rearview mirror and wondered if it's possible to not blink for about five to seven more minutes. Questioning, somber eyes gazed back at me. I should try. I told myself for blinking would mean tears falling.

"Ikaw din may kasalanan niyan eh. Masyado ka kasing naghanda," my Mom reasoned.

"I just can't get a break." I said despondently. Adding this to the string of misfortunes I have had this June just made me feel more helpless and defeated.

Despite my resignation to this sad, sad circumstance, I refuse to discard the months of preparation. After all, the day is not about me. The day is about my friend and her groom and I wouldn't miss their wedding for the world.

I just have to keep in mind, for the next one, I should not wear the entire ensemble before the big day. It's bad luck.