fourth of july

It was past twilight.

From where I was sitting, I could see the night sky. It was devoid of stars and it made the moon more resplendent and noticeably bigger against the pitch black that loomed over. Its silver sheen beamed through the glass window into your dimly-lit room and onto a portion of your bed.

I like it here. There is an orderly chaos in the junk, books and magazines mostly, piled one on top of the other, in the photo collection on the wall hung and arranged in an imperfect symmetry, or in the set of freshly laundered clothes laid at the foot of your bed where I sat. Indeed, you are your room; save that the latter smelled of vanilla, and you, of soap, sunshine and something I can't quite place.

♪♪You come out at night, that's when the energy comes and the dark side's light and the vampire's roam...

The familiar tune filled the room. By reflex, I sang with Sarah McLachlan while I absent-mindedly fumbled through the booklet.

♪♪You wear sandals in the snow and a smile that won't wash away. Can you...

"Hey," I paused as I sensed you enter the room. You lingered at the doorway for a second too long before reaching for the white shirt beside me.

"Tuloy mo lang," you teased. You had the smile of a fox as you slid in the tee and I felt the usual flutter in my stomach. Faced towards me, you sat at the edge of the bed and reached for your guitar. "Lapit na fave part ko."

♪♪You're so beautiful with an edge and charm...

You joined just in time;

♪♪But so careful, when you're in my arms...

putting a certain emphasis on your personal choice of pronouns.

It made me smile. You knew it would.

You sang the next verse and I felt like warm butter. Your voice is sweet music. It’s soothing like a breeze, or a weekend getaway, or morning sex. With the moon as your spotlight, you played your instrument and performed for an audience of one with such passion - it's like everything anyone would want.

♪♪Yeah I'm working, building a mystery. Holding on and holding it in. Yeah, I'm working, building a mystery and choosing so carefully...

You were still wearing your silly grin as you finished, and I think I was wearing one too.

"Galing ah!" I said while clapping my hands. "Performance level."

"Siyempre naman," you replied as you put the guitar back on its stand. "Lika nga dito," you added, motioning for me to sit beside you.

"So careful when I'm in your arms," I mumbled as I crawled towards you.

You laughed and your eyes seemingly disappear. You clasped your hands loosely between your knees and kept a steady gaze on me.

"Nagustuhan mo?" You asked.

I nodded.

You animatedly leaned your head closer and whispered, "Eh ako?"

I turned my head slightly to your side and jokingly asked, "Eh ikaw, ano?"

"Ako, may sasabihin." You said as you reached for something in your drawer.

It was a card, and before handing it to me, you spoke:

"Vous aimer est un euphémisme. Je suis très heureux et excité de vous avoir rencontré. Chute pour vous maintenant, c'est le moins du mot-à-dire mon bébé."

I didn't understand a thing but I'm pretty sure it made me flush. "That was a mouthful," was all I can come up with.

You smiled and took my hand.

"I didn't know you speak French," I said.

"It never came up."

"So what does it mean?"

You tilted your head to one side and moved much closer. Your face was warm, your breath fervid. It overwhelmed me. "It'll take away the mystery."

I sighed. My eyes were closed, but I knew you were smiling.

The dawn broke after a sleepless night.