come in with the rain

"A peso for your thoughts," Stephen said in his baritone register.

It was always enticing to hear him speak that way. It never fails to command the attention of anyone. Myself, included. I turned my eyes on him. He is such a sight. His normally slicked up hair was tousled and he kept a five o'clock shadow around his face. His thin red lips curved to a grin. A pair of brown eyes and fine dark lashes hid behind frameless glasses. He has this shy, smart and sweet demeanor that I love. He was my boy next door, my dearest Stephen.

"I'm afraid my thoughts will cost you more than a peso," I jested.

He let out a chuckle, and his dimples caught my eye.

I smiled, effectively showing mine before going on, "Some people, no matter how hard you try, they just don't get you. So you end up feeling like you're feigning interest. Bad, no? It makes me think that connections are rarer than I imagined."

"I know what you mean," he said. "I don't think it's necessarily bad, it just happens. We're not wired the same way. The people who match, they're lucky to find each other. The worst kind are those that fizzle out without even making a connection. Hindi ba minsan it's better to find someone whose thoughts contradict yours? There will be clashes but at least conversations are guaranteed to be interesting."

He paused and surveyed me with something that resembles curiosity glazed in his piercing eyes. "What's bothering you, Mark?"

I took a sip of the coffee...

What’s bothering me? Where do you want me to start? How about you saying yes to someone you just met, huh? And this, it all happened what, in one night? Hours before I were to tell you how I felt. How I still feel. Fuck! It fucking hurts. We had magic. I know that you know that we do. I was supposed to be that guy – the one who sweeps you off your feet, the one who walks you home each night, the one who makes you laugh with his wit and humor, the one who makes you smile whenever thoughts of him run through your mind. You left me, and now I just fizzle out on everyone else.

and closed my eyes. It's all I could do to stop him from seeing the look of pain that shot across my face.

A sigh escaped my lips, "Nothing."

For the next couple of seconds, we sat in a crazy awkward stillness.

I checked the time. It was almost two in the morning.

"We should probably go," I said.

We packed up our things and headed out.

We were at the cafe's doorway when you said, "I missed this, you know. I missed you."

I didn't reply. Instead, I found myself staring intensely at the darkness ahead. The moon offered no repose; she refused to bear witness to us. Instead, she harkened rain.

"Ayan, umulan na. Let's share my umbrella," Stephen offered as he fumbled for it inside his bag. “Or we can just stay a little bit longer?"

Yes, let's stay!

Yes, I missed you too!

I wanted to say it all but I'd rather not wait for the sky to clear.

"Let's just go home," I said as I put my jacket's hood on to cover my head. My heart has the rain.