"RG here went diving in Anilao," JJ updated everyone of our Management Trainee's holiday activity. As the rest of the team were busy digging into the food JJ bought for our Easter celebration, it was up to me to make the obligatory follow up.
"How was it," I asked. Smiling.
On cue, RG animatedly retold every single detail of his adventure as if he was expecting this moment. His group went as deep as sixty feet where the top-most surface of the ocean can no longer be distinguished. But it was already thirty past four and we have yet reached the South Super Highway in his story so we wouldn't really know that part until much later on. The tale dragged on but it was alright. After all, he caught my interest; his adventure too.
This prompted me to ask, "Is it a prerequisite for one to know how to swim to dive?" RG and Lara, another dive enthusiast, gladly answered the question by sharing their experiences during their respective dive certification examinations. And that pretty much scratched diving off my list.
"How about you Mak? What did you do last week," JJ asked.
"Stayed at home. Bonded with loved ones. Starbucks," I said fully aware that I just made myself sound so lifeless and boring to these people. I wanted to add that I saw AJ Dee because AJ Dee trumps barracudas, manta rays, sharks and people in wet suits by a long shot.
It was only then that I realized how flavorless and uneventful my life has been lately. No wonder I've been whining to T2 and Binx these past few nights on how I seem so blasé these days. I am on a barren and boring plateau and it's one of those moments when I wish for another thrilling roller coaster ride, or at the very least, a new engaging and worthwhile hobby.
It's not that I lack the initiative. God knows how many plans I've laid out for this summer alone. What I'm missing though is the passion to pursue the things that I want to accomplish, and without it, I don't see any reason why I would want to go through the ordeal. Simply put, maybe I really don't want it.
Like attending Law school. I'm sure this trumps diving any day of the week. It's new, it's engaging and it will definitely be worthwhile but I'm still hesitant to go through with it. It's not like I've always wanted to be a lawyer. It's just that I don't think I'll be doing this for all the right reasons.
A friend who will be taking the bar this year was ecstatic when I told her of my intent. Unsurprisingly, she asked why the sudden interest. I told her that I woke up one day and told myself that I want to take up Law. So Elle Woods, right?
The call of buying new school supplies, the scent of thick books, the prospect of meeting new intellectuals, and actually passing the bar exams and becoming a full-fledged lawyer – these are all luring, new, engaging and definitely worthwhile but what if they're just temporary highs?
What if my heart isn't really set for courtroom dramas or corporate research and a lifetime of logic and lies, and pursuing it would mean that every other dream of mine will be put on hold indefinitely?
What if Law school isn't the answer to this itch?
Why can't I just settle for hobbies that other people do when they're bored like read books, do karaoke, or have casual sex?
I am confused.
10 comments:
Hahahaha! I love the scent of new school supplies too! It's actually one of the perks of going to school.
I think it's normal to feel a certain "blah-ness" in our lives. I think it's just one of those things in our twenties when we come to realize that time is flying and we worry about whether this is what we'll be doing for the rest of our lives while at the same time thinking that now would be the time for change since we are only in our twenties. I think they refer to it as a "quarter life crisis".
There are days when I look at my life and think of how boring it is. I think at the end of the day, what matters is not whether your life is interesting to others.. the question is, is it interesting to you? If you are happy and content with where you are, you don't need to worry too much.
Things will happen in due time. Who knows? Maybe by this time next year, you'll be caught up in something new and exciting.
law school is dull. i can't imagine myself like the law students i know, buried under tons of books with nothing else better to do but read and debate...
casual sex is more fun!!! lolz
Why can't I just settle for hobbies that other people do when they're bored like read books, do karaoke, or have casual sex?Simply because you weren't built to be like them. I was able to switch gears into doing non-boring hobbies but needed to take a break since I'm a bum.
There's so much Life has to offer.. now if I could just do another river trek again.
because everyone's different. sabi nga ni little mermaid, if there was only one note, how boring life would be! haha embrace your uniqueness (and some law books maybe?) and find your bliss. :D
hahaha. law school? maganda nga sigurong pantanggal boredom 'to kung di ka anti-social kagaya ko. :D
@karen: Hahaha. It's one of the reasons why I love June. :P New books, new school supplies, new classmates and new teachers. :)
QLC huh. Probably. The thing is, I really don't think too much of what other people might say. It's more of where I see myself at the moment, and the possible paths that I can take - the options are endless and I think it's an overload - wanting to do many things at once.
Thanks, but I really hope it won't take a year for me to have something to my head/hands on. :)
Love your lengthy comment. Haha.
@gillboard: Yeah, I slept through my law subjects back in College so I can just imagine what it would be like in Law school.
It's one of the reasons why I have my hesitations.
@lukayo: The more fun hobbies can indeed be more expensive. Haha.
Life has a lot to offer. I know the "finding out" part should be the "fun" part but sometimes it just sucks if the seeking takes too long.
@:: cb ::: Nice. I can't remember that scene from Little Mermaid na. And yep, I love how I am different from everyone else. My uniqueness makes me special. :-)
Bliss is so elusive. Hays. Haha.
@dn/deathnote: Hahaha. I'm asocial! Joke. :-) Law school, law school. Hay. Di ko sure kung ready na ako sa changes na mangyayari sa lifestyle ko if ever kasi DN.
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