Tonight, the world seems to be a little too silent, a little too dark, a little too empty. Add in the occasional drizzle and it will make for a very potent combination. It will be unwise to be alone at a time like this with the likes of Taylor Swift and Amanda Leigh singing about white horses and Indian summers.
But here I am at the rooftop, looking at the stillness, immersing myself in their lamentations about love, or lack thereof. It's abnormal, I know. I can't help it though. I have a penchant for drama. But it's not like I walk around asking for such. Rather, I realized that these are resurfacing issues. Those that I, or the universe, or whomever holds my fate, have yet to resolve.
For months now, I have walked the streets, head up high, with the mindset that I am happy. However, the ugly truth never fails to creep back in. Despite the number of people around me, despite the multitude of persons I call friends, I still.
Feel.
So.
Alone.
Like two nights ago when I was called back to the office. I was beyond furious and frustrated. I was desperately in need of someone to talk to. I was about to bring out my phone when it occurred to me that I don't have anyone sans family whom I can run to. Well, not anymore, anyway.
One need not imagine how I felt that moment. I felt like a loser. I still do. It's not something to be proud of but I won't deny it. Everybody feels this way sometimes. Sadly, it's just my turn. And I hope no one else does because it's so hard to be in this position.
Tonight, I want to say the saddest lines but I don't think I can. Not when I know that no one's listening.
5 comments:
you do know you have some friends over here that you can talk to.
we may not know how you feel exactly or we may not know you. but we can listen.
d mo ko kinakausap ! HMMPFT
You are never alone. Loneliness is felt all over the city, and people are always yearning to connect.
So say those lines, to yourself. Feel the words as they slowly come out. Take comfort that you can talk to yourself, and that you understand yourself.
Hug.
Kane
I have also be lamenting lately. Gone were the good days, cheers!
Now I say you start writing the saddest lines, Neruda.
"I was about to bring out my phone when it occurred to me that I don't have anyone sans family whom I can run to. Well, not anymore, anyway.">>>HOW COME? This is sad....
Post a Comment