less blue, less green

This morning, a friend and I had a forty-seven minute talk on the phone and of the many topics that our initial subject has branched out to, one lingered in my head far longer than it should have:

"He'll always have a special place in my heart."

I remember my friend saying.

While walking along Ayala Avenue to find a good place to eat, I found myself multi-tasking – juggling between having a casual chat with the Prince and replaying that one line.

"He'll always have a special place in my heart."

I remember thinking that it was a very nice thing for my friend to say. Sweet, actually. I hold in high regard those who can express how much they value others who matter, in one way or another, to them.

But for some reason, I felt a pang of envy. Not jealousy, mind you for there's a world of difference between the two.

I envy He for having someone like my friend.

I envy He because really, regardless of the speaker, with that kind of predicate, who wouldn't want to be the subject?

Plus, I have relegated myself to limbo for the time being and that's usually when the yearning is most intense.

My train of thought was cut short by the Prince's sudden statement, "Speaking of Ateneo... Mak, may sasabihin ako sa'yo... since you're one of the few people in the whole world that I really trust..."

Suddenly, everything seemed a little less green. Inside, I smiled. It feels good to be trusted. After all, it's a far greater compliment than to be loved.