i don't know what's gotten into me (but i kinda think i know what it is)

When you meet the someone who was meant for you, before two can become one there is something we must do.
- Amy Adams, True Love's Kiss

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I was supposed to tell of the story of how I drank my first beer but this one's a classier tale - the "almost kiss" story of Ted and Victoria.

Ted and Victoria met at a wedding. He was immediately smitten by the charm of the pretty woman. Before agreeing to spend the wedding with him, she warned Ted that she doesn't hook up with people on weddings as the romance of the moment isn't real. The two agreed that they would not exchange contact information or each other's full names. With a bouquet and champagne, the two proceeded to the hotel's ballroom wherein Victoria danced to the accompaniment of Ted's piano. After the dance, the two sat at the piano bench and almost kissed. Victoria pulled back saying that the night has been wonderful so far and a bad kiss would ruin the romance of the evening. Instead, she suggests that they just "almost kiss" – because the exciting parts of the kiss are the moments that lead up to it.

According to Wikipedia, kissing allows prospective mates to smell and taste each other's pheromones for biological compatibility. Thus, being the pinnacle, the make-or-break point for couples who are on the verge of being together. Well most of the times anyway. Simply put, if you want to know if he really loves you so – kiss him. Girl got it right with her Shoop Shoop Song.

Because the exciting parts of the kiss are the moments that lead up to it.

The moments that lead up to it.

Those are the things that should be cherished. When the collective are at the edge of their seats, holding their breath, silently waiting for that Aww moment. That perfect time for everyone to say Aww, just like how there is that perfect time for the hand clap as seen in Can't Hardly Wait. Never mind if the kilig factor is just short of being super cheesy. Moments like these call for uber-cheesiness. And those who say otherwise are just in denial of being romantics.

Now why some people just jump straight to the lip locking part, I don’t know.

I'm guilty of that. Blindly but bravely, I charged head on, thinking that I've got nothing to lose – that it's better to just get it over with this early than keep it to myself and suffer and yearn in silence.

In reality, I missed that "almost kiss" because of I panicked. That hypothetical "almost kiss".

It feels like I've been doused with a bucket of cold water. It seemingly pierced beyond my skin however, it did wake me up.

I still don't regret it though. It's just sad that it feels like I've robbed myself of a possibility. And just to be honest, I slightly feel bad about it. I don't know why exactly.

But – everybody now – we learn from our experiences.

The lesson is not yet clear at this point but all I know is that this incident is not enough to stop me from being hopeful for that ever after. Aw.

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POSTSCRIPT. Had I known that this would happen, I should have made that kiss for real.