pot calling kettle black

I remember one instance when Manolito and I were having dinner. It was Wednesday and it was the only day of the work week in which I'd be able to have something healthy for dinner. And by healthy, I mean yummy. Yummy because on Wednesday nights, the hotel serves grilled hot dogs and burgers, with chips and salad on the side. Nothing really fancy but I prefer it over chicken and pizza, those two I have been dining on for the most part of my "vacation".

Manolito moved the flat screen to face the dining table as he turned it on. He flipped through the channels until he reached CNN, apparently the only channel that he watches. I was busy trying to cut my hot dog sandwich in bite-size pieces when the anchor started the show's featured topic. It was about the Heinz New York Deli product advertisement which featured a gay couple who kissed for like a couple of nanoseconds. In recognition of the concerns raised by some of its consumers, Heinz decided to withdraw the commercial. This however, caused further controversy with LGBT groups accusing the corporation of homophobia. As the host of the program asked each of his guests as to his/her opinion on the matter, Manny spoke and offered me his unsolicited view.

"Mali naman talaga na ipalabas yun. Kung ako din magrereklamo ako. Mali yung lalabas na message especially sa mga bata."

This he said with the conviction of a zealot and the intonation of a parlorista (I mean no offense to parloristas but accept my apologies for the mere fact that the word parlorista appears in a sentence with Manolito's name is offensive enough), with matching facial expressions. I was trying not to gag. Nor to raise an eyebrow. Instead, I just took a bite off my bun and went back to watching the news.

And then I recalled, a couple of days as we were heading back from Baltimore, we were talking about our present colleagues. And Manolito, the ever-insensible guy-girl-it, attaches the word "bading" in one of my present colleagues' name every time he'll come up in our discussion. I mean sure this colleague of ours is somewhat openly, semi-flamboyant. But I see no reason why he has to use "bading" as a suffix. It's just so derogatory. How would he feel if somebody calls him Manolito "bading", huh? I bet he'd pick up a fight right then and there. Or he'd go inside an unused washroom cubicle and cry. I really don't know and I really don't care.

My reverie got cut off when I heard Manolito's mobile phone ring. It was Pooh. His Pooh. Meanwhile, I went back to eating, switching the channel to HBO.

After a few minutes of talking, just in time when I was munching on my last sandwich piece, I heard Manolito say his parting words to his special someone - "I lab you, Pooh!"

I didn't hear Pooh say anything. HE just hung up. Well perhaps HE said HIS I love you's first and that I didn't catch it. Not that I was intentionally eavesdropping. Manolito was an arm's length from where I sat so it was unavoidable not to hear his phone conversation. Regardless, I don't intend to keep that memory. That one goes directly to the Recycle Bin.

Especially when it reeks of hypocrisy.

If only you could see how my eyes rolled.