lyk / luv

I was cleaning my portable hard drive to make room for the work-related templates I'll be copying this afternoon from my office desktop when I found a soft copy of the first letter I wrote to Daine.

I know I should just keep this private but I'm just amused at the honesty that my statements project back then. Daine and I had a petty misunderstanding the night before I wrote this down (although he did ask for a reason why I like him). And it turned out to be therapeutic on my part, being able to express what I genuinely feel.

It was quite lengthy so I edited a few unimportant parts (those that don't make sense).

I like how you agreed to go out with me just like that. I'm not usually one to ask for a date but I took a chance. Guess it worked. Though I like it better when you agreed to go out with me the second time.

I like your cologne. It’s so intoxicating. I'll remember you by that scent.

I like how you let loose when we’re playing Dance Maniax. That’s why I won’t win against you. Ever.

I like how you introduced me to “Happy Together”. I like how we try to beat the high score. And fail.

I like how people stare at you, makes me glad you’re with me. Lol.

I like how you love playing video games. At least I found somebody to play with. And somebody worth challenging.

I like how you lean to my side when we watch movies. Especially when you cover your eyes when you’re scared.

I like hearing you laugh like how you did when we watched “Blades Of Glory”.

I like how you use “e” in words like “sabe” or “nakaen” in your text messages. I find it cute.

I like your eyes. They’re so pretty. It's a nice contrast to your stubble which makes you look rugged.

I like how you love chicken. That’s something we won’t argue about.

And I like that we never argued. Ever. Not until now, and it makes me feel bad.

Anyway, I like how you made me eat sisig. You're the only person whom I allowed to be bullied to take something I don't normally eat.

I like how you keep up with my silence and not feel awkward.

I like that I know that I’ll get a reply when I text you. Even if it takes five, ten minutes to an hour. Kidding.

I like how I beat you in Tekken. Hah!

I like how I try to finish Resident Evil 4 just to get your prize.

I like that we’ve set our dates on every Saturday of the calendar. Lol. Gives me something to look forward to on those dragging weekdays.

I like how you sound on the phone (though I know I sound a lot better ^^). Even if we’ve only talked twice. Briefly.

I like how you’ve been honest enough to admit that you’re not yet ready and that you still haven’t moved on.

I like how you’ve accepted me.

I like it when I have to walk you to the bus terminal. I’d walk you home if you’d let me. I love spending time with you.

I like how you seem so mysterious, makes me want to know you more.

I like how you’ve changed me though you don’t know how much.

I like that you’ve made me happy. And I like how I try to make you happy too. And I'm wondering why I love doing that.

I like how writing this made me at ease, and feel slightly better. Because I would like to remember you in a good way.

I can go on but it just boils down to the fact that I really like you. I just needed to tell you all these. Remember, you did ask me to be specific, as detailed as possible, right?

Lastly, I would love to talk to you again.

And I would love to see you still on all the Saturdays on the calendar.

It turns out that not only was I being totally honest but more importantly, I was also opening myself up to another person. I guess that's just how it is - vulnerability comes alongside that thing called love. It is quite scary. But it's all worth the experience. And I'm looking forward to doing it all over again because I now know that I am capable of loving.

Now, being loved is a totally different, unfamiliar thing. ^^