box office: 2008 year in movies, pt. I

Presenting my first of what would be an annual list of the year's ten best movies:

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY
Ron Perlman / Selma Blair
Guillermo del Toro

Good Never Looked So Bad.

The scene with the pyrokinetic's engulfing flames in the first film was the sole reason why I was enticed to watch the sequel. Fortunately, the visuals used on Liz's power is still superb albeit her flame's color has changed from blue to red for some reason. Fan boys care to explain? Anyway, the scene where Hellboy and Abe got drunk and started raucously singing Manilow's, "Can't Smile Without You" is so campy it's hilarious.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Seth Rogen / James Franco
David Gordon Green

One Hit Could Ruin Your Whole Day.

Pineapple Express is definitely one of the best comedy films of the year. I entered the cinema without any knowledge of what the movie's about except that it was written by the same people behind Superbad. I was a bit hesitant at first because the latter's humor isn't what I would call amusing on my book. Nevertheless, I came in, sat and prepared myself for mediocrity. However, not ten minutes into the film, I found myself laughing at the crude and ludicrous humor of the movie. Franco's stoned idiot of a character is the star of this film. Love him, love him.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
Keanu Reeves / Jennifer Connelly
Scott Derrickson

12.12.08 Is The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Be it during his actual "This body will take some getting used to" line or a hypothetical "I look perfectly good in a suit; I'm hot" thought or uttering the "I am here to save the Earth... from you" objective - Reeves only projected a singular facial expression. Come to think of it, he has only one expression, ever - the distant and disconnected look. And that's him, already acting his ass off. Anyway, I didn't watch the film because of Reeves. I watched it because of GORT. I watched it for the destruction and chaos. I watched it because I was hoping that Jaden Smith will also be consumed by those minuscule metallic bugs. So imagine my dismay when I realized that the annoying twerp will live.

THE HOUSE BUNNY
Anna Faris
Fred Wolf

They Wanted A Role Model. They Got A Playmate.

I love Anna Faris in Just Friends so when I saw the trailer for The House Bunny, I made a mental note to watch it as soon as it hits the big screen. I EAGERLY anticipated its local release. And when I saw it posted as the next attraction, I immediately sent an invite to watch it. And so we did and... it... was... a... bit of a letdown. The film delivered LOLs at best. I was expecting a lot of LOLs, ROFLs, OMGs, LMAOs or a combination of any two or three of those! Hence... yes, just hence. Hmmm... Was it the same night that we had that mahi?

KUNG FU PANDA
Jack Black
Mark Osborne, John Stevenson

Prepare For Awesomeness.

The lead in the movie Kung Fu Panda is so adorable that I bought a $15 Po stuff toy at Kohl's before the screening. An hour after, I ran back to the store and bought Master Shifu. I didn't bother with the Tai Lung doll because it looked horribly cheap. So what does this have to do with the movie review? Kung Fu Panda's selling point is its charming ensemble of characters. Everything else - the plot, the moral, the humor - is just as predictable as any movie that deals with high kicks and chopsticks.

TO BE CONTINUED.