in praise of the vulnerable mak (epilogue)

ELEVEN FIFTY SEVEN.

He tilts his chin up and stared into the dark, his hands raised near his lips to feel the warmth of his breath before it mixes with the freezing January air.

He has been standing under the rust-colored shed for the past fifteen minutes. Gracie dropped him off at the nearest, most accessible bus stop. But from the looks of it, the place is far from being accessible.

The middle-aged couple on the other side has taken the first bus heading south not a few seconds ago. The only other soul in the area is the guy manning the burger stand four feet from him. Tens of cars have sped on the seemingly empty road; five cabs have slowed down as they neared him – a gesture, offering their service to take him as a passenger. He was after all, homebound. But for five times he just stared past them as if they were but another lingering blurry light in a rather dynamic streak of incandescence. He knew he was waiting. For something. So he stood a little longer, took a few steps left and right, and basked in the soft music that has kept him company in this desolate.

It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside...

He was tired. Sleep was nigh. In his mind, thoughts ran like a string of prayer for him to be able to lay right then and there and magically wake up safe, whole, unbroken. The moment couldn't have been any more perfect for all of those things to sink in and be emotional.

But the words effortlessly drowned in the melody. Just like that. Even he was surprised at his non-reaction. Undeniably, he expected drama but there was none of that. It was then that he realized that his few days of down was already over. His was a slow and subtle realization; and now that it has been expressed, contentment took over.

Suddenly the half-empty road seems a little less lonely, the street lights a little more bright, and the night breeze, a little less cold. For the first time since the start of the year, happy never felt more real to him. And now his Home beckons. It has been a long time and his bed yearns for the familiar warmth. Sleep has never been this enticing. He hailed the first cab he saw. Inside he was smiling for he now knows where he's finally headed.

If his life were a show, and the whole world was tuned in that night, they'd know that tomorrow's going to be the start of another chapter.

Mak is back.

*******

It's a new year. Time to focus on a new, unencumbered future.
- Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl