i'll try

Dear friend,

I dropped by your blog yesterday hoping to find an update. Suprisingly, I found more than what I was looking for. It might be the assumptionista in me but as soon as I read the title of your latest entry, I knew that it was a post dedicated to me. Right? :P

For the sake of this post, let’s just say that it was indeed directed at me.

First off, I’m not surprised that you found my blog. True that I did not directly inform you of its existence. Again. I held it from you not because I wanted to keep it a secret but it’s because I’m slightly nahihiya to ask you to make changes in your blog links for the nth time. Besides, I knew that sooner or later you’d stumble on my blog. It's not that hard to find right. I mean, I did leave a message in your chatbox. Wink wink. Otherwise, there's always the ever-reliable StatMeter to provide you with your uhm, blog stats. Hi hi.

On to the topic, "Let It Go" was a wake up call. It was the shove that my head and heart has been waiting for. Honestly though, I'm still a bit hesitant to open my eyes (and my common sense, obviously), but your words gave me strength. It also cleared my mind so I could have a better grasp of what I should have done a long time ago.

I hope that you'll believe me when I tell you that I am trying. It's just so damn hard and frustrating and sad and everything that is the opposite of feeling good. Remember when we had a talk about heartbreaks and how one could literally feel that his heart is being ripped. Or crushed. Or trampled upon. And sometimes, one would feel that his chest would tighten as if the air is being sucked out of the room. He'll be restless. He will lose sleep. Get thin. Or fat, depending on how he copes. He is falling endlessly with nobody to catch him. The world just stops spinning. Time halts prolonging his suffering.

I said that it was all in the mind. Hearts can't literally break. We feel pain because we think we're hurting.

I lied. I couldn't agree with you more.

Right now, I'm feeling all those things and perhaps more.

The fact that I don't have a lot of people to go to makes it worse. But through your post I realized that you are one of them. I didn’t know how you’d react because we’ve met under different circumstances. I was way, way happy back then. I cannot remember a time that you’ve really seen me down. So there. Plus, you're like far. My apologies if this will come out as if I don't trust you and all. I do. It's just something different. And new. Even I don't know how to deal with it myself.

I want to go on and on but I’ll just save it when we see each other. I know I have a lot of things to tell you (and I know you’re eager to know them) so I hope you (and our two other friends) will be ready to listen. And I mean LISTEN. Hopefully, by then I'd be the happy MakMak again.

Friend, thank you so much. I can’t tell you enough how much your message means to me.

Yes, even if it wasn't really for me. I'm claiming it as mine. :]

TTFN.

PS: I miss you tons. By the way, I'm including the write-up you included in your post on this entry. It helped me a lot and I think it would be fantastic if it can help others too, so I'm spreading the word.

*******

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.

Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us: For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over and you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It 's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to… LET IT GO!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains… LET IT GO!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth… LET IT GO!

If someone has angered you… LET IT GO!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge… LET IT GO!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction… LET IT GO!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents… LET IT GO!

If you have a bad attitude… LET IT GO!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better… LET IT GO!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him… LET IT GO!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship… LET IT GO!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves… LET IT GO!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed… LET IT GO!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to… LET IT GO!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.

GOD is doing a new thing for you!
- TD Jakes, Let It Go