looking back: 2009

Two weeks before 2009 ended, Max, my external hard drive malfunctioned. After a colleague borrowed it to transfer some files, it suddenly refused to be accessed by my notebook, my colleague's desktop, and everyone else's computer units. I was in panic. Immediately, I went home to see if I can fix it but sadly, I encountered the same problem. I was left with but an option; and with a heavy heart, I right clicked on the device, whispered goodbye to my data and clicked on format. In under a minute, a decade's worth of data was lost. My mp3s, work files, drafts, my e-journal, and of course, my photo collection - they're all gone. Just like that.

If you asked me right then and there, I would have said upfront that me being frustrated is putting it lightly. I was rather having a grand time on cloud 9 when the powers-that-be suddenly decided that my happy time is up. I was short of screaming that life is so unfair. But my sulking for almost seven hours had me thinking. Just like that, Max was given a clean slate. A fresh start just in time for the coming year. The music database, I can rebuild. The drafts and journal entries, I can re-write. The pictures though, they're another thing. Some might not be recovered but pictures are just a vessel in which memories are preserved; and memories, in general, are hardly lost or forgotten.

The way I look at it, the incident, more than being a metaphor, was the last shove that I needed to let go of all the hurt that 2009 brought. Perhaps, what I lost anchored me to the past, and needless to say, I need to stop worrying about it. After all, there's a reason why it didn't make it to my future. That fateful day, I was tabula rasa. I needed to make new memories, and by happy chance, those formed thereafter are pure bliss. So when I look back to 2009, I shall look back to that point when I'm happiest. Through it, I can reflect on everything else without bitterness. So yes, I shall remember December.

*******

POSTSCRIPT. Happy New Year!