when plans go to waste

To jump start 2010, the team scheduled the first in the long list of activities planned for the year this weekend. Saturday was supposed to be Enchanted Kingdom day. "Supposed" being the operative word. Due to a last minute fortuitous event, I had to send a text blast last night to inform everyone that we'll be moving the said event to a latter date. But that wasn't the most difficult part. Because really, what could be more difficult than to face the realization that all the time spent and effort given into planning the whole thing was laid to waste?

Handling logistics is a nightmare. People, on the other hand, are much more so. While I revel in the fact that I do love setting up these kind of things, be it a simple dinner date, a grand reunion, or a five-day getaway - I am inclined to feel slightly hesitant at times to accept the responsibility. Being in charge means I am tasked to do the inviting myself and with this, I am opening up myself to a world of hurt, and that is rejection. Perhaps, I am indeed afraid of it. But who isn't? Mahirap mag-plano. You really wouldn't take on the role if the people concerned are the ones whom you hardly give a damn about. You do this for the people whom you want to see happy and pleased. You exert effort because you care.

For now, I shall let my hurt speak. If people are just going to say no, they might as well say it right away so I can devote my energy to the things that matter because last-minute cancellations and what not are the worst that anyone can do in my book. I know it is a rather myopic point of view but I am imperfect; and until the day I become numb or indifferent, expect me to whine every once in a while. I am human. Frustration can still get the best of me.

Time and effort - two things that I invest on people who matter. It's sad to see them wasted. Maybe next time I'll take the back seat and let them do the planning.